-by Dave Gray

It seems that Ricky Williams isn’t the only South Florida resident being unfairly persecuted by flawed drug-test results. Lake Worth resident, 19 year-old Nick “Roach” Porter is suffering a similar fate. He was fired from his job at Guitar Center for testing positive for marijuana, LSD, methamphetamines, and high concentrations of perfluorooctane sulfonate, commonly found in Scotchguard. His mother, Genevieve Porter, (47) for one, is outraged. “Nicholas spends most of his free time in his room. He turns on his blacklight posters and watches movies, chats with his friends, and eats Little Debby snack cakes. Besides, he’s too busy with school to be spending time on drugs.”

Nick is a part-time student at Palm Beach Community College, non-degree seeking. He dreams to one day become a sound engineer, or do something with computers that’s “totally rad.” But those dreams may not be answered, if we allow these injustices to continue and defame the characters of Nick and many other victims of bogus testing.

This isn’t the first time questionable test results have taken their toll on Nick. He was also let go from his night stock position at Albertsons for being continuously late and testing positive for opiates. “We all knew it was poppy seed bagels the first time around,” Genevieve recalled, “but the second, we were stunned.” That is until word of the Dolphin running back’s latest peril hit the news.

Yoga Supplements.

“He finds peace with the Lord by meditating, stretching, listening to music and lighting incense in his room. Everyone speaks to God in their own way,” his mother explained. “After seeing what happened to Ricky Williams, Nick realized that the same supplements must’ve caused his false positive. It just made the most sense.”

The longer we cease to shoot down the allegations towards guys like Ricky and Nick, we risk tarnishing the legacy of a Heisman Trophy winner and 2-time Boomers Tekken Tag Tournament Runner-Up, respectively.

“It hurts our family to see the torment that Ricky is forced to endure and know that Nick may have to follow that same path. He's such a happy boy. He’s always giggling about something.” And it’s our job to keep that smile on his face.

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