-by Sunstroke Stevens

There was an old Buck Owens hick country song that they used to sing every week on the TV show "Hee Haw" way back in the long-ago, that pretty much sums up the way a lot of Dolphins fans have to be feeling right now. The chorus of that song used to moan out...

"Gloom, despair, and agony on me.
Deep dark depression, excessive misery.
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
Gloom, despair, and agony on me."

Normally, I'm not one to deny anyone their God-given right to dark depression and excessive misery. Far from it... But the more I think about the Miami Dolphins' situation in the wake of Nutless Nick's departure, the more I believe that this is actually a good thing. I see an opportunity for this franchise to put the pieces in place for an "immediate" and "long-term" solution. Immediate, as in returning to the playoffs next season. Long-term, as in the kind of stability and consistency that Miami hasn't seen since the days of Shula.

And, more importantly than the mere presence of opportunity, I see a concrete plan to exploit that opportunity. Lean in closer, my brothers (and sisters), and allow me to lay it out for you. Three steps to Dolphins salvation... H. Wayne, if your ownerly mug is lurking, this is exactly what you need to do.

Step 1: Stabilize the coaching staff immediately... and name San Diego OC Cam Cameron as your new head coach. Pay him what he wants, make him feel loved, and give him bonuses if he can bring John Ramsdell and James Lofton along with him. Unlike Saban's "I need the small college town feel of Tuscahoochie", Cam Cameron's drive is to be a head coach in the NFL. He is a brilliant offensive mind who is "only" 45 years old and easily has a good 10-15 year run in him. He comes from good stock, with a coach as a father, and he started his coaching career as a graduate assistant and WR coach for Bo Schembechler at Michigan. John Ramsdell is the QB-developing guru who could match the O-line's Hudson Houck...just ask Kurt Warner, Marc Bulger, and Philip Rivers about Ramsdell. For a franchise in desperate need of squeezing every possible bit of production from their QB position, Ramsdell could be that small print transaction page signing that delivers an enormous impact. Lock up Dom Capers on the defensive side of the ball and give him the official defensive coordinator title to match the job he's actually doing.

Step 2: Address the QB situation... A hobbled version of Daunte wasn't the answer, nor was any version of Harrington. Cleo Lemon? Do I really have to ask that question? If Daunte can come back healthy next season, great... I'm not ready to close the book on Culpepper's possible usefulness quite yet. The Dolphins DO need to have a better backup plan in place than they had this season though. The two QBs I think Miami should look at in free agency are Atlanta's Matt Schaub (restricted) or former Phins QB Damon Huard (unrestricted). Before you raise the red flag on Damon Huard's age (he'll be 34 when next season starts), I'll simply point out that, as a career backup, he has only started 14 games in his career (including 8 for KC this past season), so he is a "young" 34. He could be primed for a Gammon-esque late career blossoming in the right situation. If you can get Schaub, then you're set for the next 5-6 years, easy. If Huard, then you look for a good value on a mid-round development QB prospect either this year or next.

Step 3: Re-sign your own key free agents (Lock up guys like Yeremiah Bell, Wes Welker, David Bowens and maybe a couple of others), and get younger on both sides of the ball through the draft and sensible shopping on the free agency market.

Right now, I understand that it is hard for most Dolphins fans to feel anything but the sharp stab of betrayal and the tremulous uncertainty of "what's going to happen next?" Not me... I feel optimistic, because I see Miami as being three steps away from exactly where it needs to be.

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The Dolphins Make Me Cry
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