The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

What is the appropriate time frame to wait for someone walking behind you to hold open a door?

If someone is a mere few feet from me I always wait and hold the door.  Or if the person has their arms full of stuff and might have trouble getting the door open. 

That is reasonable, isn't it?

I went out on my lunch break to snag an iced coffee.  Walking back into my building there was a guy walking behind me -- he had to be 25-30 YARDS behind me.  I walked in and kept going, I was able to get down a long hall way and up to the second floor before I ever heard the door downstairs open.

He just walked by my desk and said "thanks for holding the door, I appreciate that."  And wasn't kidding.

Excuse me?

My reply was "jeez, man.  Sorry.  I didn't know I was supposed to wait that long and hold a door open.  I didn't know that you are physically unable to twist a knob and swing the door open for yourself.  Was it traumatic for you?  Hey, I know your manager really well.  I'll make sure to stop by and let her know that you addressed these really important concerns to me while I was trying to work."  And he scampered off.

I enjoy my job and like most of the people here.  Really do.  But between guys that push the handicap door opener rather than opening doors themselves, taking an elevator to go down one flight of stairs and now this...

Am I working in the world's laziest building?

Yes you do

I swear either this is the most real case of deja vu or we've had this discussion before.

I would have given that guy the finger.  What a puss.  Open your own door.

I will hold the door for any lady, any elderly person or child, and someone (as you said) with an arm full of crap.  If I can open my own door, so can any healthy male.  And the line (for me) at which point I will keep going without holding the door is usually about 30 feet, not yards.

You REALLY said that?  (http://www.terrellowens.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/worthy.gif)(http://www.terrellowens.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/worthy.gif)(http://www.terrellowens.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/worthy.gif)

I always open the door for others, especially the elderly or women.  I'm happy to do so.

My general rule is that if I have time to go in and the door would fully close before you got to it again, that I'm off the hook.  I usually will wait a little bit though, if they're even remotely close.

Once in a while, there's a tweener, though.  I feel your pain, Maine.

I hold the door for a person with a bunch of stuff or kids or if the door will shut in their face if I let it go.  Otherwise, you are on your own.  That guy is a bitch for bringing it up.

You were correct in doing so Maine. The guy was too far behind you. I just have a feel for the distance and don't really have a set standard I go by. Funny you had this happen. I opened the door for a guy at lunch today and I even let someone go in front of me at the ATM today while I was getting my lunch money because I was on the phone.

I actually did...I was pretty annoyed.  Of course the second I said it I thought "wow, that might not have been appropriate."  And then the second I thought THAT...the next thought floated to mind:

Was seeking me out to bust my balls over not holding the door appropriate for him to do?

Needless to say that made me feel better about being snippy at the guy.  And yep, I pulled a total dink move and emailed his manager as well (I've known her for a long time, we worked together at a prior carrier).  She wasn't impressed and said she needed to discuss a few things with him and I just added to the list.

Even if the guy was RIGHT behind you and you walked in without holding the door, he doesn't have the right to come and bitch to you about it.  You're a man, suck it up.  Its a courtesy, not the rule.  You're not entitled to have the door held for you, Mr. Entitlement, its something people do to be nice.

That was lame.

So was seeking me out while I was working to bitch to me about it.  I don't know the guy, never met him.  Never said hi.  And he walked around our office until he found me to complain I didn't hold the door open for him?

Not the type of thing that should be dismissed, in my opinion.  Very unprofessional.

Yeah, the guy is a dick, for sure.  ...but you probably made it worse for both of you by bringing management into it.

Made it "worse" for me how?

For starters I TOLD the guy I was going to loop in his manager and provide the feedback.  What he did was completely creepy (a), hostile (b) and utterly unprofessional.

Do you think that if I had stormed into the VP of claims office and done the same thing he did it would go unnoticed / unpunished?  There are ways to carry yourself in a professional setting.  I don't come to work to have people barge into my office and say things like that to me.  Even if I had slammed a door in his face, which I didn't.  30 yards, maybe more.

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.  Period.

Could I have let it go?  Sure.  Except the more I thought about it the more it really creeped me out.  I have a corner office.  I've never met the guy in my life.  We have a large office - he had to actually walk around and search for me - pop his head into my office while I was on the phone and say "thanks for holding the door open for me?"

Sorry Dave - not lame bringing that to his supervisor's attention what so ever.  People are spoken to all the time for less things in a professional setting.  Someone didn't like the way they were addressed in a meeting.  Someone doesn't think someone else's shirt is appropriate for the office.  Those things fly under the radar and are reported in confidence.  I personally hate those type of things - if you're going to talk to someone's manager about them have the balls to address them about it first.  I did that.

His actions are ones of a bully and kind of scary the more I think about it.  I don't kowtow to anyone.

I just think that telling on him is a bitch move.  ...like tattling over something petty.  That's my opinion.

If I had one of my workers come to me and complain about that, I'd ask them to stop wasting my time.

Unless I'm in a major hurry,I tend to hold the door open for just about everyone....

It throughly pisses me off at the hospital my Mom used to work at,there are two door with Handicap push button (or you can just pull them open) and a revolving door in the center...People will push the button,and wait for the door to open automaticaly,rather than use the revolving door...

I guess we will need to agree to disagree.  "Tattling" is something you do in grade school when someone shoots a spitball at you.  I work in a professional enviroment conducted by adults.  "Petty" would have been if the guy had addressed me in a common area, such as the Cafe, immediately after it happened.  The guy's intent in searching me down almost ten minutes later was an attempt to intimidate and bully me.  I consider what I did to be a professional response.  To tell the guy that it his approaching me was inappropriate, to alert him that I would provide that feedback to his manager and to follow through on that action.  Not responding to an action like this greenlights the guy to do this to other people.  People don't come to work, a professional setting, to be bullied and intimidated.  That's my opinion.

You are so full of yourself.  I hope you don't post on this site during your work time.  Might have to have a talk with your manager, he can't have people posting on the internet during work time.  You are in a professional setting, not a time to screw off.

And you're point is...?  Tell me something that I, and everyone else on this site, hasn't known for years?

What's next?  "You're such a dick?"  What a revelation!  Thanks!

Maine, I think you did the right thing. If someone did that to me, I probably would have said something along the lines of asking him him to meet me back down there for lunch so I can make it up to him, then not show up. If he came back, then I would have gone to the manager with the complaint.

I think Tepop has been in the role of your co-worker in the past, got fired, and still feels stupid about it.