The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

I was walking outside of Circuit City yesterday and this woman walked up to me with her daughter.  She looked like she was from the Mediterranean or something like that.  She didn't speak English well, and instead gave me a hand-written note card.

The first few lines said something about her having four kids needing money for food for her family or something.  The girl was probably 12.  I didn't read the rest.

I said "sorry" and kept walking.  That kind of thing is jarring for me, because 1) seeing kids involved in that kind of life bothers me and 2) I don't see it often.  Beggers like that, especially at a rich plaza in Boca Raton are very, very rare.

I don't give money to beggers.

My one exception is those that play an instrument.  I like that.  At least you're DOING something that's making my time more enjoyable.  When I'm leaving a Heat game, I'll give a buck to the guy playing sax or guitar on the sidewalk.  I appreciate the effort to not bother me and instead try to entertain me in an unintrusive way.

The others, I do not -- even if it's particularly sad.  ...because I think it adds to the problem.

I don't give money. I don't consider those doing art or playing an instrument beggers, they're actually "working"

I will offer food, which is never ever taken.

Never.

My friend once saw a guy begging outside an eating establishment.  When she left, she bought a sandwich to give to him and he got angry.  If you were really poor, I would think you would accept a fresh sandwich.

Lots of time, beggers are nuts.  No matter how poor I was, I wouldn't be on the street asking someone for a buck.  I think you have to be mental -- and the concept of getting angry over food is a good example.

Never. One of my favorite shows is Intervention on A&E. A lot of the addicts beg for money. I'm constantly amazed when they show how much these people make just from begging. It's a bit jarring.

Living off downtown Fort Lauderdale, I see so many homeless and beggars that I'm immune to it. I act like I don't even see them.

I usually give them some change, then I punch them in the nose and take my money back plus whatever else they had accumulated from begging.

I always give.
I know deep down that I have given a few dollars in my day to someone who probably used it to buy a hit of something...but I also know that there is a good chance that I helped buy someone or their kid a hot meal, too.

I'm a sucker for that stuff....Bums, girl scouts,  kids who are raising money for whatever sport they're in, and the salvation army buckets never go without a donation from the Katie fund.   :-\  (and  yes, it drives my husband insane.)

Um...I'm taking donations. ;)

I have given money before but that was when I was younger. I haven't done it in years.

The first 4-5 replies give me hope.  

I have close relative who used to be naive.  While working in San Francisco he got taken in by these people all the time.  He helped one guy outside his building for several weeks before finding out that the guy had a job and family back East.  This guy suddenly got the urge to travel to the West Coast and just left everything behind.  My relative finally figured out he was enabling.  

In Seattle there is a lot of help available.  The places that give out food and shelter rarely have to turn anyone away.  We even spent millions on an apartment building especially for these people.  For those without mental problems, if they couldn't make a living and afford to feed their habits by begging then they'd be forced to get help.  Giving them money enables them to stay in the street and avoid getting help.

I agree with RTW.

I support HELPING poor people.  I don't mind having tax dollars or even personal donations to programs that assist people to get back on their feet.  However, I think that handing someone money is re-enforcing the problem.  It's prolonging their current lifestyle.  And even though I knew that little girl might not have food that night and it was cold outside, that I thought in the long run, I'd be doing her a dis-service by giving her money.

...or at least that's how I justify being cheap.

???

I always thought Dave's computer would explode if he typed that....

I have been jaded for a long time about this.

When I was in my mid 20's and still living in Augusta there was a girl that was always outside one of the popular malls.  She was young-ish, pregnant and holding a sign.  There is a wooded area close by and she had a tent there, canned food, etc.  Needless to say news got around.  Young woman, knocked up, boyfriend bailed on her, she couldn't afford rent.  She even made the newspaper, they interviewed her in the tent.

Well this story made a reporter in Bangor a little suspicious.  So he decided to pull a little P.I. work and basically trailed this girl, without her knowing, for a couple months.

1 -  She wasn't pregnant.  It was a homemade "bump", complete with velcro.

2  - She wasn't homeless.  Matter of fact - she OWNED a home out of state.

3 - She wasn't single.  She was married, hubby was a panhandler as well.

4 - Augusta was her 5th stop in Maine.  She would stay until people might get suspicious about why her belly wasn't growing and bail.  She had hit Bangor, Lewiston, Portland, York and now Augusta.

5 - She hadn't held a job since high school.  Her husband hadn't worked in three years.  And yet they had a combined $400,000+ sitting in their bank account, owned their home outright and owned two cars outright.

Needless to say the IRS decided that they wanted to jump in.

Never knew what happened after that, but I know people were outraged that this chick was basically pulling down 70-80k per city as a "homeless, young and pregnant woman with nowhere to go."

I never know what to think now no matter how sad the tale.

I put,Depends on my Mood as I voted..I generally have them ask me,when I'm at my house...I go get the mail,and they're walking down the road....I'm totally not comfortable doing that....I've done it in the past,and they end up coming back to my house...I wont give money or rides....

If out and about I might give a buck,depending on my mood...Especially when I need some good Karma.....

I'm more into helping in need...The other night I pulled into Wal mart,the car next to me some girl with her boyfriend asked if I had any jumper cables..I didn't....I walked into Wal mart,Thought I'd buy a set and give  her car a jump.Wal mart didn't have any,so I went across the street,to Kmart and bought a set,jumped her car..then gave her the Cables....

I put, if they're performing a skill.  If someone is standing on a street corner washing windows, as far as I'm concerned, he's trying to earn a living, and I will give him some money.

Does a friend who asks for a shot at the bar count?  8)

This happens to me on a regular basis living in the city. Sometimes I'll save my change and stick it in my coat pocket and I'll give it away. Today, this young adult walked up to me an asked me for change. He looked all kinds of drugged up, had an upside-down cross tattooed on his cheek and his lips looked like they were just wrapped around a crack pipe! To this I said sorry, no. So I guess to answer your question, I give money on occasion.

My ass. Hell... No...

When I went to school in Charleston, I used to consistently give money and buy food for a poor man named Marvin. He was well-known and well-liked by the kids who went to my school, but the girls were sometimes frightened by his sunken eyes and gaunt cheeks. He used to tell me about his two marriages, his time in the service, and walking in on his wife cheating on him. I don't know what broke his spirit, but he didn't have a whole lot left. He had AIDS and died a few months before I graduated in 2005. I pray for him when I think about him.

I also, thankfully, had other opportunities to help the poor as well. One night in December I had the good luck of being approached by a poor shivering lady near a starbucks. She asked me for money, and I told her I'd do her one better: I'd get her something to warm her. I went into the Starbucks and broke a 10 on a large (venti? who knows) cup of coffee. I gave the poor lady the change, and the coffee. The barista ran after me and told me it was the nicest thing she'd ever seen someone do. I smiled, and then was quick-minded enough to say, "Thank God, who gave me the strength to do it."

Down here, I try to give change to any poor person who asks for it. It's difficult, because I know the money may go to drugs or something else damaging, but there's not much I can do. I try to give more to those poor individuals who I consistently see on the street, and who do not show signs of drug or alcohol abuse. The language barrier that I sometimes face makes interaction difficult.

Last semester, when I worked at the Supreme Court of Florida, I had the good luck of meeting a group of hobos who lived under a tree next to a gas station on the corner of North Ocala and West Pensacola (you can see it if you look for 2028 W Pensacola Street in Google street view). I used to go to McDonald's on Wednesdays or Sundays (coming home from Mass) and bring them all the 49 cent hamburgers they could eat. Like Marvin, they would tell me their sob stories. One was black, and used to talk to me about how, even amongst the poor, there was a distinct undercurrent of racism. One was a Vietnam War vet who appeared to be suffering from PTSD. The others had walked to Tallahassee from various parts of Georgia and Florida, and just didn't feel like moving on yet. When winter came, I noticed that they did not have any shoes or socks to wear (they mostly wore flip-flops), and so I gave them 2 pairs of my thickest, most comfortable socks that I had.

I've noticed, with all the poor with whom I've come in contact, that they seem to desire kindness and equal treatment more than anything. The Vietnam Vet (Sam, as he called himself) in Tallahassee once broke into tears while telling me about losing friends in combat. He said the pain was made worse by coming home and receiving taunts from individuals, losing his job, losing his sense of self-worth, and eventually, losing all hope. I took his hand, looked him in the eye, and then one of the best moments of my life occurred; I said, "Sam, listen to me. I'm just one person, but I want to you to know that as long as I am in the world, there are people out there who love you just because you are here. It does not matter to them where you've been or what you've made of yourself, they love you and cherish you nonetheless. And I am proud to be able to spend time with a veteran of my county's armed services. I can't give you back the friends you've lost, but I can thank you for what you've done to me. Thank you, Sam."

Sam broke into a sob, but it wasn't the hopeless, imperiled sobs that I'd heard him utter before. He really seemed appreciative of my words, and perhaps a little hope and relief seeped into his toughened heart.  I hope he's doing alright, and that all the poor I've met, both in Charleston or elsewhere, are doing well at this moment in time. God bless 'em all.

I give if I have anything in my pocket. $1, $5 and sometimes $10 or more. Sometimes it's my last bit of money until payday but I'd feel like a hypocrite if I didn't.  I'm not actually giving to the person so it doesn't matter that the Bible says that I shouldn't judge whether that person is worthy or not. That's between them and God as far as I am concerned. I could post a dozen scriptures backing up giving but this part of the Bible is plain and simple. 


From the greatest sermon ever given ... the Sermon on the Mount.

Matthew 5:42, 46 & 46

42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,  what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?

Nope.