The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

This Mickey-Mouse offense has just pulled off the biggest upset of the entire NFL season and I am sick of it.

I'm sick of Jake Long's stupid "step back" on a passing play with his leg, I'm sick of Jon Gruden sucking the rod of the Wildcat offense, I'm sick of Ronnie Brown - a mediocre RB - looking like Emmitt Smith because of a shitty defensive effort every week, and I'm sick of Tony "Soprano" celebrating and jumping up and down after each 1st down as if he won the Super Bowl.

I hate Hate HATE the bullshit Wildcat. They KEEP PLAYING SHITTY TEAMS AND THEY KEEP BEATING THEM WITH A COLLEGE GIMMICK OFFENSE BECAUSE THE TEAM SUCKS THAT THEY ARE PLAYING AGAINST!!!!!!!!  You can say "Rex Ryan this, Rex Ryan that", but this ain't the Baltimore Ravens, it's still the New York Cant's.

The Dolphins offense is pathetic. You can't win in the NFL with multiple QBs passing in and out of the huddle, one of them a mediocre RB in Brown. It didn't work for Tom Landry, it didn't work for Bill Walsh, and it's not going to work here. They have no deep passing threat, their top WR is ON THE BENCH ON THE FINAL DRIVE, their Tight End is a sissy from Notre Dame, and your team is owned by Gloria Estefan and Serena Williams.

And no - this is no where near the best MNF game ever - that was the other Dolphins / Jets game that you all love to forget so much.

Chad Henne sucks, Ronnie Brown sucks, Ricky Williams sucks, Crowder is an idiot, Joey Porter and Jason Taylor are loud-mouth sissy boys, and Anthony Fasano is a sissy. And then your idiot CB does the "shhhhh" sign to his own home crowd after picking off Trent Edwards last wekk like a stupid.

You're still 2-3, which by NFL standards is mediocre. Good luck against the Saints who will be looking for revenge after losing their first game against the Gianst next week, the Jets on the road, the Pats on the road after your nice little BYE week.

Finally - STOP with what you all know is bullshit. STOP - JUST STOP - saying "how gutsy" it was to bring in Pat White and all those stupid high-school formations at the end of the game. You're 1-3 and your team is average at best, so you need to do whatever trickaration or gadgetry imaginable to barely eek out the win. Throw all the shit up against the wall and see what sticks - that's a great offensive strategy (<-- MEGA sarcasm).

P.S. Dan Marino sucks.

umad?

What is the term I'm looking for to describe your rant...

"horseshit"

Yeah...that pretty much sums it up. Add "angst-ridden" if it isn't already understood.

^ Word. 

Someone get this dude a "The End is Near" sandwich board.  People will think you're less full of shit with that at least.

Edited to add : Not to mention that every team is trying for their own version of the fluke wildcat.  College gimmick indeed.

Hey Jtex, what's the matter?  Are your hemorrhoids flaring up and you ran out of Tux pads or Preparation H?

I know your mother and father never said it but...I love you Jtex.  And I know your mother and father never did it, but I'd give you a hug right now.  It's okay, it's okay, let it go, let it go.   Shhhhhhhhhhh.....it's okay, keep crying, I'm here for you...shhhhhhh.

I can only imagine the amount of money you put on the Jets tonight, JTex.  Either that or you're working on joining the WWE as a heel.  It's barely even fun anymore the way you try to work people into a frenzy.  I do, however, agree with you about Porter.  The "team is owned by...Williams" and "idiot CB...stupid" was funny.  Otherwise, I expect a better effort.  

(http://www.cybersoul.org/pub/stfu.jpeg)

JTex is a closet Dolphins fan.  He has to profess his hatred once in a while to maintain his image.

Yea, but this dish was better to be served up after a loss.  We won so nobody gives a rat's ass.  I don't feel the hate...except about the PS part.

Who knew jtex was Rex Ryan?


Fwiw, I thought it was really funny :-))

Wow, someone sure gets cranky during that time of the month.

This made me laugh out loud. Pretty funny!!!

If he made even the slightest sense it would be OK. Otherwise I consider it ignorance.

You got that right.  Record holding Hall of Famers really blow.  Crazy person.

2/10

Really not your best work, here.  This was actually one of the lamest rants I've ever read.

I know, I used to think that JTex was better than this...I guess I just give him way too much credit, because even if I wasn't a Dolphins' fan, this rant would make absolutely no sense.  As a matter of fact, even if I was anti-'Phins (and, to be honest, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the concept, but still...trying to be imaginative here), I still don't know what I would be upset about regarding the Dolphins, and particularly their offense's performance, last night, besides the fact that they won. 

This was so lame.  The incredible ridiculousness of it all did at least get a chuckle out of me, though, I'll give him that.   :D


See above...completely agreed.

I'm pretty sure this rant is stemmed from jtex losing a fantasy football matchup in which he had Thomas Jones and his opponent had Ronnie Brown. 

Sucks for him...  Thomas Jones is a total bum.  He should know that the Dolphins' defense is #2 in the league against the run.