The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

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- Wear clothes that fit.  If you're fat, fine.  If you're skinny, fine.  But you aren't going to hide that with clothes that don't fit you.  ...and I don't just mean size, I mean cut.  I see so many people that wear nice clothes, but that aren't right for their particular shape.  It makes you look like a schlep.  If a shirt is too tight or loose around the chest, it's going to give you saggy man-tits.

- Use a tongue-scraper.  These things are amazing.  After you brush, scrape this across your tongue and it takes off a disgusting layer of slimy, bacteria-laden mucas.  If you say "but I brush my tongue", then you clearly have never used a tongue-scraper before.  It will make your breath much better, longer, it makes you feel so much cleaner, and it even makes you taste things better.

- Men, use a product in your hair.  Any kind that works for you, but it looks better and it makes you look like you didn't just roll out of bed.

Dave, I've seen you recently and you are NOT all that.   >:D

^ Yeah, but you should have seen me before.

Little things add up -
* That little mess in the corner before long ends up a big mess...
* That slice of cheese on your burger every day at lunch adds an extra 100 or so calories that you need to burn off...
* Saving that .50 - $5 dollars a day on a coffee,candy bar,whatever little habit...at the end of the month adds up...
* Parking a little farther away,taking the stairs,taking a walk now and then adds up to losing a few of those extra pounds...

Now scurries away from Dave,before he throws my whole wardrobe out....As I'm a Schlep monster,king of all losers!  ;D :D :)

QFT

Well said Lil B

I find this to be true for me.  If I leave a shirt out or something, because I'm in a hurry, it makes it so much easier to put a 2nd shirt on it next time.

- Keep napkins or a towel in the glove compartment of your car

- Keep those little mini disposable toothbrushes (with toothpaste already on them) in your car.  If you're stuck out later than you expected, or don't have a chance to stop at home, it keeps you from being gross.

Never date a woman who owns more than two cats

Don't get in line behind a fat woman in a van at the drive-thru.

People who drive PT Cruisers and/or Chrysler Pacificas should be knocked off the highway.  They are a stupid lot and will probably almost cause you to get into an accident.

Your problems are generally of your own making, so start there.

Don't censor yourself.  You're better off.

Never take shit from anyone.

Always go down on your woman.

keep a tool/emergency kit (or at least tire changing essentials and a flashlight) in your car.  if you live in the north, have a blanket or extra jacket during the winter months.  if you own a truck, keep a tow strap and tie-downs in the back.

if you have a RWD car, put a LOT of extra weight on top of your rear axle during the winter months. 

the early bird might get the worm, but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese.

embrace failure; it's the only way to learn.  just don't make the same mistake twice.

When putting tennis shoes in the dryer after washing, place the shoelaces outside the dryer door and close it.  This will prevent the load banging sound.

NEVER put your tennis/running shoes in the dryer. It makes the break down. Stuff them with newspaper and sit them outside.

Always remember to say "Thank You" (and mean it).

Don't be in such a rush that you can't hold a door open for the person behind you.

When you are no longer hunger, stop eating!

Don't clean your plate (b/c mom told you to when you were a child) or eat out of bordom or just b/c it is tasty.

I wish I had learned these 2 lessons earlier in life, but at least I learned them.

1. Start saving from the very beginning.  If you didn't save before, start saving now....it's never too late.  Even if it's small, get in the habit and don't use the excuse "I just can't afford it now".  And know the difference between short term savings (for emergencies) and long term savings (for retirement).  You have to do both.  View saving as paying yourself.  As soon as you can, get some financial planning help.  Organizations will often offer some level of help for free or for a very low fee.  This will instill long term saving discipline. 

2.  Buying/Having stuff, especially expensive stuff doesn't make you happy.  I know this sounds like a cliche, but hear me out.  Over the course of my working career I've gone through being in debt, struggling to make ends meet, managing to get by, being comfortable and finally being fairly well off.   As I could afford them, I got bigger and nicer stuff.  A big house, nice car, huge TV, etc.  The more I had, the more I worried about what I had.  I'd worry my 65 inch TV would break and I wouldn't be able to get it down the stairs.  I'd worry about my car being damaged.  The biggest worry was that my lifestyle wasn't sustainable if I lost my job and had to find something else.  Over the past 5 years, I've been downsizing and doing with far less.  It's great. So much less to worry about.  If there's something that's really important (i.e. - sports equipment, electronics, autos), then spend your money there, but don't just buy stuff to keep up with the Jones'.   

1) Keep a change jar, though I've said this before already.  Then, put the change in your savings account

2) Cherish your friendships.  I have the most amazing friends in the world.

* Travel...a lot. See as much of the world, and experience/understand/appreciate as many different cultures, as humanly possible.
* Read or watch something that makes you laugh within 30 minutes of waking up
* Have an animal in your life, preferably a dog.
* Drive as fast as possible, whenever possible, as long as it can be done safely.
* Eat dessert first at least one meal per week.
* Read a type of book or listen to a type of music that you normally don't.

'Stroke...are you sure we're not family?

* Appreciate those whose job it is to service you.  Janitors.  Security guards.  Administrative staff.  Retail clerks.  Tough, thankless work.
* Try new things.  Food, drink, places, and people.
* Learn.  Don't think you know enough.

I think this is a good rule and helps keep you humble.  I think being polite and remembering that there's another person behind the job is key to keeping your head on straight.

It's possible, I guess...Mom was supposedly pretty frisky in her youth.


100% agree with this... And if you can't get yourself to show that appreciation for courtesy's sake, then do it because being polite to people who are in the business of serving customers is a great way of getting better service.