The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

Over about the last 2 months, I've been paring down my belongings and cleaning, organizing the rest.  I've done my best to do this at a measured pace.  I started with my desk at work, then graduated to home, where I've done "passes", donating or throwing out unused items.

I am essentially "done" with my bathroom, closet, but have also done a considerable amount in my office, kitchen, living room, back porch, and bedroom.

I still have a lot to do over the next months/years, but so far, it's been really enjoyable and freeing.  And I'm finding and highlighting the cool things that I do choose to keep.

Just over the last two days, I was working on my childhood sports card collection.  I kept 3 things out of five boxes of stuff.  I still have more to sift through, but I was able to re-discover a few items, while gifting the rest to a collector who will enjoy it.   These were things that were in a closet at my parents' house, out of sight, but not out of mind.  I have more things over there -- some of my more interesting stuff, actually.

I enjoy rediscovering these things, but also enjoy giving them to people who I know will find joy in them.

Next up:
- T-Shirts
- More Sports Collectibles

You wanna come over some time and "minimize" my place?  I will cook you dinner for your troubles. ;)

^ I don't know if you're serious, but absolutely.

If you are willing to really come to terms with getting rid of things that you may hold dear (it has to ultimately be your choice), I'll help you do it.


Oh, also -- DVDs -- it's another thing I want to start getting slimmer on.  I don't want to get rid of everything, but I feel the technology is dying and being replaced with digital media, plus I have TV series that I don't want taking up space in my cabinet and I'm running out of space.  ...forgot that I have that on the horizon.

Really, you probably don't need my help -- at least not yet.  You probably have an emotional attachment to the idea of your stuff.  I cannot evaluate what you really want and use vs. what you have around "just in case" or because it has some potential monetary value that you're never going to cash in on.

1) Start with the understanding that you are bringing nothing new in the house until you get things under control, unless it is specifically to replace another item with something smaller or more useful.  For example, if you have a corkscrew and a can opener, but you want to get a corkscrew-can opener combo and get rid of the other two, that's acceptable.

2) There are things you know that you won't use anymore.  You know it.  Clothes that don't fit or that you don't like.  Maybe old furniture that doesn't fit the space, etc.  Get rid of these.  Take them to Goodwill.  Just get started with the easy things.

3) Then, start addressing the other stuff.  Try to avoid the mindset of finding a place to put the useless clutter.  Instead, ask yourself if the item is actually making your life better or worse.

4) The hard part with come with items that have potential...the project you were working on but remains undone, the collectibles that you worked hard to obtain but now don't carry value or interest, the items that relate to your "Fantasy Self".  ...if you have golf clubs, because you'd wish you could go play golf, but you never ever do, be honest with yourself and purge.  That's the idea.

5) Don't do it too fast.  Just do a little bit every day.  Every week.  Some days it will be big stuff, other days small stuff.  But you have a lifetime ahead of you to simplify.  Make sure that you are constantly in some state of reflection on the things you have and over time it will diminish.  Understand that it may get worse before it gets better.

My fantasy self has:

- 2 sets of golf clubs (I don't play golf)
- 3 guitars (I have no clue how to play guitar)
- 2 aquariums (I have 5 small fish that i keep killing)
- random various sporting goods (I have no time nor enough interested friends to play any team sports)
- 2 cars (one of which doesn't run)
- a boat (hasn't run in 4+ years)

I also have a closet and several drawers full of clothes which I rarely wear and most that don't even fit me.  Many of them are brand new with tags.  I get to a certain point where I say "I have nothing to wear" and my laundry basket is overflowing, but my closet and drawers are FULL. 

I know purge needs to happen, and I have periodically done a clean out where the "keep" bar gets higher and higher each time.  But, clearly, its not effective.

You guys know how I feel about all of this. "When in doubt, toss it out!"

I'm working to go pescetarian,not minimalist....But I've been sort of purging stuff lately,the ability to rearrange ones house does help.It forces me to get rid of some older stuff...Some stuff I'm fine with other stuff...not really...

OK.  So, off the top of my head, get rid of 1 set of golf clubs, one aquarium, and 2 guitars. 

That's without even trying.  Then, use that space intelligently and re-evaluate.  The boat and extra car are bigger problems.  Do you owe on either/both?

Inquiring minds want to know whether you keep killing the same 5 small fish over and over, or if you are simply killing the entire small fish society, 5 at a time...

Actually, its a cycle of fish - buy, kill, repeat.
Currently there are 5 fish that have survived about 4 months without dying.

Dave, the golf clubs were passed to my by my dad and my grandfather.  Not sure how I would just "get rid of them"  One aquarium I have been trying to sell, but no one seems to want it.  The guitars are just stashed behind a door, and not in my way.  I owe money on the boat but not the car.  The car is my toy project that I never get to work on.  Both are in "storage" at my mom's house.

I'm not one to tell you how to deal with things passed on from your loved ones, but I have read a lot about this (and dealt with some of this stuff myself.)  It's just stuff.  Even though it belonged to someone you loved, it doesn't, in itself, represent that love.  By passing those clubs on, it doesn't represent how you feel about your Dad or your grandfather.  And it doesn't make it any less meaningful that they may have wanted you to have it.  You still received that gift.  It's just that the item itself doesn't carry the value.  The memory does.

Think of things more like you would a greeting card.  It's a thoughtful thing that someone gave it to you, but you wouldn't keep it forever.  It doesn't mean that you didn't like receiving the card or that you're somehow diminishing the thoughtfulness of the gift.  It's just that you've moved on.

Easier said than done, I'm sure, and you have to pick your own level of involvement that you're comfortable with.  But in the end, it's just stuff.  The memories and moments are what carry the value.

^^ Funny you mention greeting cards.  For some reason I have trouble throwing them away.

You'll see me in 10 years on Hoarders buried in piles of greeting cards and you'll say "I used to know that guy, but I haven't seen him in years"

"My grandmommy gave me that chain!"

Brian, I'd take a tank if I were staying here. I LOVE aquariums and the only reason I don't have one is due to space. I grew up keeping 2-3 large (20+ gallons) aquariums at a time.