The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

Hey all -- hope everyone here is healthy and happy, both mentally and physically.

Just a little update to questions we've been asking:

Who (if anyone) is the closest person to you that has definitely tested positive for COVID?
Who (if anyone) is the closest person that you know to have died from COVID?

Are you working from home/remotely/unemployed from the virus?
Are you eating out/going to movies/sending kids to school, etc?

Are there things that you wish you could do but can't?   Are you living life normally, etc?

I don't know anyone who has died from COVID.  I do know about ten people that have tested positive for it.  Four were asymptomatic.  The other six experienced mild symptoms that were flu-like. 

I got called back to my job two days ago and for that I am truly thankful.   I had been furloughed since late April.   I like to eat out, but I don't go to movies or bars much.  So I am eating out often these days.  I had a trip planned earlier this summer to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.   Unfortunately the caverns are closed due to COVID.   I'm living life as normally as I can because I have chosen to live life rather than live in fear. 

Brother in law got it, asymptomatic.
Father in laws best friend died from it, lifetime smoker and drinker.

Who (if anyone) is the closest person to you that has definitely tested positive for COVID? I've had a few friends test postive. All but one didn't have much and the one who claims near death is a bit dramatic to begin with so I take it with a grain of salt.

Who (if anyone) is the closest person that you know to have died from COVID?Hermain Cain .... who I followed on social media is the closest so not very close.

Are you working from home/remotely/unemployed from the virus?I work on jobsites with other construction workers. We haven't ever shut down nor have we ever worn masks. Dozens of guys and to my knowledge no one has caught Covid.

Are you eating out/going to movies/sending kids to school, etc? We never stopped eating out. We ride our Harley's a couple of hours away and eat lunch on the weekends with friends and groups. Other than having to eat in the parking lot while things were "take out" only we have dined inside. We actually would meet friends on Sunday evenings at different restaurants and tailgate with their take out. The restaurants got a kick out of that. My kids are 23 so one is still going to college and the other has been working from home along with my wife.

Are there things that you wish you could do but can't?   Are you living life normally, etc?Travel and big sporting events are about the only things we are not doing. Well ... we have gone to the mountains twice since May but that's only a day's car ride. Going again in a couple of weeks. Overall Covid has been irritating but hasn't stopped us from our recreations of eating, boating, and riding our Harley's so we still get to hang out with friends.  

I only know of one confirmed case and that person died. I know him well enough he and his wife had invited me over but I never went. Pool league has started so I am going back out. The thing I miss is live music.

I'm guessing Spider is one of the few that any of us know (or kind of know). The labor pool guys from this project I'm on are in quarantine now following a guy who they rode with testing positive. It will be interesting to see if this spreads and how much.

I obviously had it back in April.  A close friend of mine caught it about 2 months later.  Both of us had relatively mild cases and recovered fully.

In my department at work, we are cleared to work 50% of the time from home.  However, I have been coming in to work every day since I recovered, as some of my coworkers have child care issues and my presence on site allows them to work from home more often.

I eat take-out food every weekday at lunch, and that hasn't changed during COVID.  Of course, I wear a mask everywhere outside my home and have been since March.

I also volunteer with an organization that advocates for foster children.  We took a break during the spring, but I started visiting with my assigned foster kid around early July.  We both wear masks.  We would always go eat when I pick him up, and during the summer when most restaurants were take-out only, this was a bit of a challenge.  For the last month or so, some restaurants have opened outdoor dining, so we've done that where practical.

My life isn't TOO far removed from normal.  It's definitely different, but it's not some crazy hellscape.  If this is the new normal in America, I wouldn't have a problem adjusting to it.  The main thing that I miss is my visits with friends and family, which haven't been completely eliminated but have been severely curtailed.

Spider, glad to see that you are fully recovered and feeling well. 

Very admirable that you volunteer with foster kids.  It is easy for us to talk about things we care about or are passionate about.  But it is very cool to see someone actually putting those words to action by giving their time and efforts into causes. 

I've had several friends that believe they had it because they had some flu like symptoms but they were never tested or never tested positive, so maybe they just had the flu or something else. I don't know anyone that has died from it.

I'm working from home and my office is closed to non essential people till June of 2021. I can go in if I really need to but I haven't had the need.

No movies and no going into to places to eat, we have take out from time to time. About normal in that regard now. My kids are all grown so luckily we don't have to decide on school.

I've realized that I wasn't that social of a person prior to the pandemic so honestly other then work it has not really effected me that much. We stayed home and only occasionally went out socially anyway, now we just stay home and don't got out at all. Other then that apart from taking all the normal precautions of wearing a mask whenever I do interact with people, washing my hands regularly, social distancing etc, life is pretty much the same.

My family is pretty closely-knit.  My niece's long-term boyfriend tested positive and had all the classic symptoms -- fever, cough, weakness, loss of taste and smell.  He fully recovered.  He's the closest to me, I'd say of those that tested positive definitively.

I was personally incredibly sick with a fever and cough for about a week right before this all blew up.  I wasn't tested, because it was so early that it wasn't really spread around down in S. Florida yet so the MDNOW didn't test me.  I did test negative for flu, though...there were like 10 total cases that were known.  Considering I hadn't traveled or had a known exposure, I don't think I had COVID.  However, there was a little uncertainty about the timeline that maybe this virus had gotten out here sooner than we thought. 

We have a family that's friends with our family, going way way back.  The grandfather, who lives with them, got COVID and died from it.  He was old and mentally unwell...he had dementia pretty bad.  They were still quite crushed by the loss of him.  He was old and had normal underlying conditions of being old, but wasn't in particularly bad physical health.

I am working from home and schooling my kids.  Work is easy.  It's the same work as in the office, but I save time on the commute, as well as those ends of the day where you're kinda running out the clock.  I still am here working, but I can also do other things, make lunch, etc.  I just have a lot more work time that's available to actually work.  Also, I have a job that happens a lot over the phone, so if I get calls after hours, I just take them now.  So, I'm kinda on call all the time, but it's a fair trade-off.

My kids' schooling sucks.  They're home and they (especially my Kindergartener) require wrangling to stay on task.  It's getting better as I learn, as they get a routine, and as the teachers learn.

While I do miss seeing certain friends in a small group setting, like getting together to watch sports, I have started using my family for that.  I see them a lot...we have a few little bubbles of people who are locking down and it's safe.  But I also kinda like the freedom of not having to be tied to a social calendar.  I really don't do anything and I'm OK with that.

As for restaurants...I literally don't care.  For movies, I don't want to go to the movies, but I'm bummed that movies aren't coming out.  If they came out digitally, that'd be fine.

I don't know anyone that has died from Covid, nor do I know anyone that has even been hospitalized.  I know of a couple people that have tested positive, and all recovered very quickly with only minor symptoms.

My Dad is in a care facility for memory care.  It's not a nursing home, per se, but it's got old people (not exclusively, but mostly).  They've been super careful with COVID.  I haven't seen my Dad in almost 10 months.  Nobody has been in and out of there.  No haircuts...my Dad looks like a 60s hippie, with hair to the top of his back.

Still, they've been ravaged.  Out of like 65 people total, 10 have died.  I think only 15 were even infected.  I'm going to have my first visit on Friday, which is super controlled -- no touching, no giving him anything, I gotta wear a mask that they provide and a face shield, too. 

That's heartbreaking, Dave.  Even though it will be super controlled, I hope you have a great visit with your dad on Friday. 

The situations in senior centers (etc.) have been some of the saddest parts of the entire COVID saga.  We were down in Florida for a few days last week and I spoke to a woman who's mother is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's.  When she goes to visit, she has to stand outside her mom's room window and talk to her on a phone through the window.  The mother doesn't understand why she can't come inside and she gets upset and frustrated and cries.  It is just awful. 

Thank you.  I appreciate the kindness and it means a lot to have support.

I will say that my dad's particular condition makes it so that dealing with COVID is easier.  He's out of it enough not to really realize how strange all of this is.  He doesn't really know that we've not been there.  He's with it enough to do the pleasantries, but not really much more. 

All we're shooting for at this point in his life is to be comfortable and not aggitated.  My Dad seems to only be interested in sitting in a chair and staring off into space or doing very remedial crosswords.  He can't even watch TV -- his memory is so sporadic that things like greeting cards are really effective, because it's all happening in the one moment you're in.

So, for this visit, I think it's more for me.  It's morbid, but I just don't want him to die without me having seen him for a year or even made an effort.  Before all this, I used to go there once a week with my sister and my kids and they'd play in the garden while we sat outside and had coffee.  We didn't even have to talk, really.  It was just comfortable and familiar for him.  To this point through COVID, I've done one zoom meeting with him and he didn't really seem to know that I hadn't been there.

I feel for ya, brother.  Sometimes I think that dementia is harder on the family than it is on the patient (especially if they are so out of it they don't realize they have it).    My wife's dad died of Alzheimer's and it was gut wrenching for me to watch her deal with him.   She would go to visit him and he wouldn't know who she was.  In his mind, he was still a 20 year old in WWII and she was the pretty girl talking to him and he would hit on her.  She would patiently explain to him that she was his daughter and was so gentle with him.  Then we'd get in the car to leave and she would cry her eyes out.  Old age dementia is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (or their family).   A lot of people just bail out on their family members when they reach that point. It says a lot about your character that you are still being a good son and trying to be there for him.  Sorry for deviating from the COVID topic, but I thought it was important to show you some love about this situation, dude. 

Sorry you and yours are going through that.  We've had a couple of bouts to deal with as well. The slow deaths are very hard to deal with ... even in older relatives.

Re my Dad:

We're actually pretty lucky that his mind is degenerating in the specific way that it is.  He's not violent, he's not confused about who he is or who we are.  He isn't out trying to wander around.  The biggest issue with him is time.  He doesn't really recognize its passing or know when it is in relation to other things.  And he seems completely disinterested in engaging.  Once I realized that I wasn't trying to recreate or rebuild a relationship and it was instead about finding a new way to interact, which is just spending time and not making him work too hard at conversing, it's been much more pleasant.

Some of the people I see when I go there are angry.  One guy yelled in my face and called me an idiot and threw a napkin at me, because he apparently thought I was someone who had done him wrong in his life and he was re-living that anguish.  He kept seeking me out...tortured that I had gall to show up there.  Or even with some of these older confused women will take my kids by the hand and think they're lost or something.  Or you'll have people try to find out where their kids haven't come home yet (and their kids are probably 60 years old).

My dad had Parkinsons for years. At first it only effected his motor skills, at first it was just a twitch in his hand and then he had trouble walking and then just standing. Near the end my mom had to put him into a home because she could no longer take care of him. He couldn't go to the bathroom by himself and was too heavy for my mom to help him. He was never a big talker but when he started having trouble talking he basically just quit. After a couple years in the home his faculties also started to go. He would get confused from time to time where he was and who my mom was. He would get angry sometimes and say they were mistreating him, not feeding him and things like that when he had just eaten etc. He had bouts of depression as well. When he was still lucid him and my mom discussed it and they both agreed he was never to be put on a feeding tube if it got to that point. One day about a year ago he just started refusing to eat and my mom knew that was his way of letting her know it was time for her to let him go and she did. She told the staff to keep him comfortable and after about a week of not eating he passed away. My dad was an incredibly strong person and I think he knew exactly what he was doing. When it gets to that point, I think dieing is a relief.

I'm sorry, man.

Watching someone's brain go before their body is hard to watch.

Thanks. It was hardest on my Mom and I think part of the reason that he decided to stop eating. She would visit him every day in the home and I think he didn't want her to have to go through it anymore. I think everyone was satisfied that he made peace with it and went out the best way he knew how. Everyone was sad, but everyone came together to celebrate his life, not to mourn his passing. That's what I remember most about it so that's not bad.