The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

Ok,Top 3 Sexual accidents,Mishaps,Worse posible moments...Things that just didn't quite go the way they were planned...( We don't need names,or juicy details )

I think these could be fun to hear...I know i'm not the only person to ever have these....

I'll go ahead and give mine to get the topic started...

#1 all time
Just got done doing the Deed,in the front seat of a '86 Camaro (I was flexible back then) with my Supervisor at the local fast food establishment that I worked at.Basking in my Afterglow,for her to ask what time is it,she has to get home to her Husband and Kids.....

#2
Having sex with my ex-girlfriend,at her parents house,and hearing her Mom say to her Dad.....(in the other room).....Give it to me Ronnie,you big stud Ronnie.Then hearing a few moans...It pretty much killed,the "Moment" we decided not to finish....

#3
A young lady I was dating decided the time was right.We were at the lake in My 1975 Dodge Ramcharger ( Full size Blazer/Bronco like SUV ).She decides to get on top,and in her throws of sex,she nails her head on my steel rollbar.She starts bleeding obsessivly,all over the place.I ran her to the hospital,where she had to get 8 stitches in her head.The worst part is explaining to her dad,why she was at the Emergency Room...(Quick sidenote) I bought  pads for my Rollbar,but never had sex in the Dodge again....

Honerable mention...My first girlfriend's little brother stealing my clothes while I was having sex with his sister.

#1 I am with my ex-girlfriend and it happens to be the night before graduation. I am doing the business and I hear all my fraternity brothers crashing in my house. Next thing I know in they come in and ruin the moment. I ran them out of the room and we finished, but not very romantic.

#2 I still lived in the dorm at this point. Our entire floor was involved with our fraternity so the door was never locked. I had started seeing this girl a few days before and was trying my best to move things in that direction. Just as I am getting ready to, you know, the door busts open and one of my buddies runs in and starts playing video games. I never saw the girl socially again.

#3 I was with my girlfriend and we were doing it doggie style. The next thing I know my leg cramps up completely. I jump up and try streching, but I can;t get rid of the cramp. She is still in the mood and won't leave me alone. Finally the cramp leaves and we continue.

Some of the guys here in the office will remember #1...

#1) About 3 years ago, I meet this fiery redhead named Christine. We date a little, screw a lot...so I'm pretty happy with her. One night, I am taking her from behind. She's getting pretty wild, and right as she starts to come, she throws her head back as far as she can...only problem was that I had leaned forward over her back right before she did that, and when she threw her head back, she slammed me square in the mouth with the back of her head. Blood flew and a half of one of my front teeth landed on the floor. That ended the night's festivities in a damned hurry.

#2) I had just gotten out of the Army the first time...I was 22 years old and working in a lumber yard in Prescott AZ. I meet this girl who was working at a coffee shop. I didn't ask her age, but she looked early 20's, so no worries. Very yummy, blonde hair and a seriously hot body. We go out on a date to a kegger party out at Lynx lake, and after the party started dying down, we ended up in my truck for a little slurp and grope. I'm laying there in the seat and she is sitting on top of me (we're still partially dressed at this point). Right as I am peeling away her bra, I ask her "by the way, I never asked earlier, but just curious...how old are you?" As she pulled the rest of her top off, she looked me in the eye and said "I'll be 16 next week." I have never gotten out of my truck any faster than I did right then...total panic.

#3) Living up in Seattle, WA after I got out of the Army the second time. My girlfriend Michele and I decide to head up to Snoqualmie Falls early one Saturday morning so we can bask on the rock table at the bottom of the waterfall. We get there, and nobody is around at all. Not down where we were, and no one up on the viewing platform up top. We start getting a little jiggy with things and I decide its time for Michele to try a little public lovin'. After convincing her that no one was around, we started having sex. After what seemed like a long time but was probably no more than 10-15 minutes, I hear a sound from the viewing platform up top, and...apparently, while we were having sex, a tour bus pulled up and roughly 20-25 people with binoculars and cameras were lining the platform and giving us a standing ovation. Michele never again got freaky outside the house.

1. Get caught with my Girlfriend behind a hotel in Cancun and almost getting taken to a Mexican jail. We were both completely naked and I was standing at full attention. I paid 160 pesos to get out of that one.

2. Going into a girls bathroom at a club to get a B J and then all the women in the place decide to go in to do their makeup. I was in there for like 30 mins and finally got kicked out by the bouncer.

3. Losing my virginity. It was on the side of our high school rec center during my freshman year. It was after football practice and I was in full pads. We both just pulled our pants down and laid on the cement. I thrusted my hips only once or twice. I had to ask if it went in. She said yes and I said, "woohoo!".

We were making out,after practice.All the sudden half the football team came around the corner headed to the locker room.They were all hooping and hollering at me,...What they didn't know my pants were undone,She was holding my Frank and beans the whole time....

Wow I've only told 2 other people about that story....

My football one is worse.

1) I was banging this chick in the basement at my parents house. We had a mini bar downstairs. Suddenly i could hear someone walking down the stairs. So i scrambled and pulled my pants up, but the chick coulcn't really get hers on so she kinda had them around her ankles and ran behind the bar and sat down. My mom is downstairs at this point talking to her from the other side of the bar. I was trying to hold the laughter in. if she only walked behing the bar she would've seen this broad with her pants around her ankles...

2) i was out drinking with some friends. So somehow i wind up "stopping" home cause i had to piss my pants. I planned on just running in then dropping this chick off. Next thing i know i got the bathroom door locked and i got this chick riding me while i'm sitting on the john. It was great. Great until i went outside and forgot i had left my car running and it was outta gas...

3) I had 2 chicks at my house who were tripping on acid and i was trying to get them to chill out so they could go home. They were kinda freakin' me out. I am in my kitchen making a PB & J when i look over and one of them is naked spraying herself with the nozzle from the sink with water. I just stood there. Didn't know what to do. Ok, i didn't bang her cause she was too f'd up, but its a funny story. My dad comes downstairs and sees her doing this, walks in the kitchen and just gives me the "thumbs up", smiles and walks upstairs. How classic.

1 loosing my virginity in the front seat of a camero and having the cops catch us.  At least its memorable.
2 my best friend walking in on my very first blowjob.  
3 queefing.  its never a good thing.

I knew a woman once who could queef a rough version of "Somewhere over the rainbow" if we worked it at the right angle...

Hey, it could be worse.  You could be this woman...

(http://venomweb.150m.com/forum/momoftheyear.jpg)

HAHAHAHA

Dam... I hate when that shit happens!