The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

Football fans of Arkansas, get off your sister and rejoice.  You have been graced with your very own expansion NFL franchise.

You have no players, but you have the first pick in the draft, and the availability to grab some free agents, as well as the second rate scrubs from the rest of the NFL.

What area of the game do you work on first?  Who do you hire to coach?

You hire Dom Capers away from the Miami Dolphins. He had success with other expansion teams, so I think he'd be my guy.
The first guy I'd target in free agency would be a good LT, since I will need him to shore up my offensive line. I can get by with lower quality players on the rest of the line, but need the LT to protect my QB.
At QB, I'd select a "franchise" QB in the draft. Assuming it was this year's draft, I'd take Leinart. I'd then sign Jon Kitna as my QB to mentor Leinart, and serve as my starter for a year.
In the second round, I'd take a LB, CB, or DE to be my defensive leader for several years.
In the rest of the rounds, I'd take help for the defensive side of the ball..
In the expansion draft, I'd try to take as many veteran defensive players as I could. I'd want the veterans for now to keep us in games.
I'd also target a lot of second tier free agents to fill out skill positions. A second tier RB guy like Chester Taylor would be good to help out our offense. I'd also look at a lot of lower tier WR's who may not have been given a chance with other franchises.

Lastly, I'd hire a bunch of strippers to be my cheerleaders, so they can distract the other team during our home games (like in the movie The Replacements)

I would trade my first round pick for Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison.  Then I'd try to package Harrison and my 3rd rounder for Shaun Alexander.

I think that's a solid start to any team.

...then, I'd trade Peyton Manning for compensatory expansion round draft picks with the other NFL expansion franchise, the Toronto Agronauts!!

If you're being serious: No way that Manning and Harrison get traded for a first round pick.
If you're being funny: You're not.

I would make sure my actual mascot winds up on Philly's and Jtex's underwear. 

 ???

LOL, look at the mascot.  The Arkansas ROADKILL. 

I didn't get this either

Roadkill on your underwear...... get it??

Must be a southern thing. Never heard that.

Don't blame it on the south.  I have no idea what he's talking about. 

I really never considered Florida part of "the south". I figured it was somethign Tommy picked up in Georgia.

I just post this stuff cause apparently the thought of trading Peyton Manning repulsed everyone so much that I get flamed in every single "You're the GM" thread for thinking outside the box.

No, no, no.  MAINE is in line for the next franchise.  'Stroke and I will run it.  The Ogunquit "No-he-just-didn't's."

You got that right.  Keep in mind I'm a native New Yorker transplant.

How about the Portland Lobsters?

If you knew about the town of Ogunquit, you'd know why I named them what I did...

Never heard of that town.  Why don't you enlighten me?

never heard of it?? how

have you ever seen brokeback mountain, there is a very stronge resemblence.

Read the quote in the other forum.  Bob Flanders saw Brokeback Mountain, not me. 

     If I'm the GM of the Roadkill, the most important hire is the head coach.  I would interview the following candidates: Dom Capers, Ted Cotrell, Ron Rivera, Ken Whisenhunt, and Cam Cameron.  Ultimately, I will go with Ron Rivera because he knows defense and he's worked with some of the best defensive players in the NFL.  Plus, it would put serious interest in the franchise.

  For an offensive coordinator I would probably go with Norv Turner.  On the defensive side of the ball I'd let Coach Rivera handle most of those duties but just for balance in workload and for a little extra motivation, I'd bring in Jim Bates.

  In the expansion draft I would probably go after "young" veterans, guys who aren't necessarily "old" but not too wet behind the ears either.  That way my team will have a solid core of a guys for a good while, that way....   they will get to know each other, grow together, and then start to win together.  Of course, I would throw in a couple of veterans for leadership purposes.

  Now if we're talking about the 2006 Draft, and I have the first pick....  No question, I'd take Reggie Bush.  His ability can change the way people game plan against you.  People lose their jobs for not taking dynamic players like Reggie Bush. 

Good analogy overall, but there's one little problem with this particular strategy........Not too many of those "young vets" are going to be left open for you to draft.  Keep in mind that teams decide which players to protect and which not to. 

I agree that Bush is a dynamic player. BUT- The average "life-span" of a running back in the NFL is considerably shorter than the "life-span" of a QB. Plus the QB touches the ball on every play. I'd take the QB because you can build a franchise around a QB who hopefully plays for 13 seasons, as opposed to a running back who will play for 7.

Pulling off an amazing courtroom power play (after proof that commissioner Dave took a payoff from the Arkansas contingent), Mainestroke Ventures, LLP forces the NFL to rescind the Arkansas appointment and award the league's 33rd franchise to Ogunquit, Maine. After a brief but very intense internal power struggle between Mainestroke's two founders, the new franchise will hereby be named:

The Ogunquit Poofs

In an effort to appeal to the local fan base, the franchise announced that the team colors will be "various and bright...chartreuse will likely be involved" and the team mascot will "vaguely resemble a dandelion."


To coach the Poofs, we bring in Steve Mariucci, because he's among the best candidates available and his boyish good looks and tenure in SF will endear him to the fans.

In FA, we sign: QB Josh "tears of" McCown, LB Julian Peterson, WR Joe Jurevicius, WR David Givens, CB Ty Law and numerous second tier players to compete for starting jobs and for depth.

In trades, we acquire DE John Abraham from the Jets and soon-to-be convict, safety Sean Taylor from the Skins (Poofs love bad boys).

In the draft, we set a record for most first round trade downs...six of 'em. We trade down to #2 with Houston so they can get Bush, then we trade down to #4 so the Titans can get Leinart. Then we trade down to #10 with Detroit so they can get Ferguson. Then we trade down to #17 so Miami can get Cutler, before finally trading down one more time with Denver, adding one of our second rounders and #17 for Denver's #23 and #30 picks.

Once all the maneuvering is done, the Poofs own the #23 and #30 in the first round, plus 4 second round picks and 4 third rounders (setting yet another draft record with 10 first day picks). We select: OT Marcus McNeill, RB Laurence Maroney, LB Bobby Carpenter, TE Tony Scheffler, CB Jason Allen, C Nick Mangold, OT Daryn Colledge, DE Darryl Tapp, CB Darnell Bing and QB Omar Jacobs.

See ya in the Super Bowl in 5 years, folks!