The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

This post is an official retirement announcement for Crazy Scar Faces.

What am I retiring from, you ask?

It may be easier list the two things it does not include.

General Life (breathing, pooping etc.)
Family

Other than that I am sooooo done. I completely denounce work and money! I will no longer be a slave to capitalism. From this day forth I am officially no longer a contributing member to society.

Good theory except I don't really see you as the hunter/gatherer type.

lol. Good luck, Matt. I already have had similar thoughts...f*ck the rat race, take my savings, move to some island and open a tiki bar for tourists....want to come?

YES!

You'd have to live in that bar to make it run well.

If this works out for you, can you let me know?  I've been wanting to retire from society for years, but people keep sending me bills. ::)

join a monastery?

You technically "could" officially retire.
You would have to file retirement papers with the government.
You need 40 work credits in your lifetime to receive retirement benefits, and the amount of benefits depend on your average income over the years.

So if you could live off of anywhere between $1,000 to $1,500 a month...go for it man.  You're young, so you'll probably only rake in $900 or so. You however cannot earn any extra income by working as an employee anywhere, and the rules are sketchy as far as being a sub-contractor (you can't earn up to a certain amount).  Or, you could become a professional gambler or poker player, and claim earnings that way.

It's probably a pain in the ass to "un-retire", but who knows!  I'm just going off of the info in those yearly packets i'm sent by the IRS.

I don't think you can gather retirement benefits from Social Security before age 62 for any reason. You can collect for other reasons, such as disability, but retirement is out of the question I believe.

You're right.  Now, you can draw money out of an IRA before you reach retirement age for one of the following two reasons:

1) Short term disability

2) First-time homebuyer. 

When I worked at Publix, there was a big scam going and a bunch of people were fired for filing false claims with a doctor so they could take money out of their IRA's. 

That sounds sooooooo good. I'd only do it if we both promised to change our names and never speak of our former lives again.

I'd like to change my name to Owen Buckler.

I will post my results as they come in.