The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

I am trying to give away some items and I'm constantly in awe of how unreliable the average idiot is.  I deal with this at work, with people who just have excuses for not doing things.  And I'm in a costume group where I volunteer my time to help people along and they're just unmotivated turds waiting for life to come to them.

It's maddening.

I am trying to give away a set of bunk beds.  So, I use a free site -- have some interest, and then ghosting when it comes to actually committing to coming to get the stuff.  So, then I figure if I sell it, people will attach a value and be more motivated to lose a good deal.  So, within minutes, I get offers, and then people just ghost.  Later on, if they eventually reply, it's just bullshit.  I got busy.  Yeah, well, we're all fucking busy.  Life is busy.  Handle your shit.

The costume club is especially bad.  People will ghost you or set timelines for themselves that they constantly don't meet -- and it's simple stuff like reviewing a website and making a choice on which costume you like.  ...and then three weeks later, they'll be like, "oh sorry, my uncle was in the hospital."  And I'm like "oh...I didn't realize he was the one who had to pick your costume for you, so who gives a shit."  Excuses are the worst.  Do shit.  Everyone has kids, jobs, lives, parents, work.  Make it happen.

And I get it -- money is tight or whatever.  Don't spend it.  Fine.  But saving doesn't just happen.  Nobody just drops the money in your account for you, so you have to make a plan and follow-through to make it happen.

You want these bunk beds but don't have a truck?  That problem doesn't solve itself -- call around and find a truck.  Or don't -- but then the bunk beds don't just appear in your house.  You can't wait your way into that solution.

End rant.

This is why when i commit to going somewhere .. i show up .. on time .. and ready .. if i dont' want to do it ..i wont' commit to it

Yeah, same here.  If someone asks me if I want to do something, rather than doing the wishy washy "maybe" answer, if it is something I want to do I will say so and I will do it.  If it is something I'm not interested in, I just simply say, "I'm not interested."   Re: Dave's story about people ghosting when he is trying to give stuff away, I think I would just prefer to throw something away than to do deal with unreliable douchnozzles. 

^ I battle between not wanting to wait on the wishy-washiness of others and waste.  I hate waste.  I hate the idea of this perfectly good set of bunks that I know people would use and like -- and think that it could end up in a landfill....or even someone wasting money on it.

So, I can't bring myself to put it out on the curb.

I get this all the time trying to sell stuff on Facebook Marketplace.   People hit you up for stuff, act as if they are interested, then just randomly ghost.  That prompts me to respond with, "Hey fucknuts!!  Did you want the<item> or not??"   Then if they don't respond or respond in a nasty way, I report them to Facebook Marketplace. 

There are these things called charities that I think would love a set of bunk beds. You can't wait your way to a solution.  >:D

I spent too much of my time waiting on wishy washy people, so I just don't do it anymore.  When they finally get around to showing up, I just say too bad the items gone or i'm not interested anymore.  As for selling things I've switched to putting it with a consignment shop or places that have semi-monthly auctions.  I only get about a third of what I probably could sell the items for, but it's a lot less hassle.  I've also found a couple consignment shops where you can buy really good furniture and other items for really cheap (people die and the families don't want to be bothered).  Fifteen years ago when I bought my house I could have saved thousands of dollars on furnishings if I knew about them then.

When selling stuff, my wife always makes it clear that it's first come first serve and don't mark it as sold until someone carries it away. My wife finds this tends to get people motivated to come pick up the stuff that they have said they want.

I'll admit I can be wishy washy some times. I have no idea what I will feel like next Saturday. Usually if I leave something up in the air though I  should just say no immediately but I feel too guilty to tell someone that I don't feel what is important to them iis worth my time.

You'd think, but you'd be wrong.

Lots of places won't even take them because they fear some kind of insurance risk with kids crawling on it, falling out of it, etc.  Some of these places won't touch any items meant for children that have safety issues -- bunks, car seats, pack and play, cribs, etc.

And there were places that would come pick it up (I called many of them -- that was my starting point) but they weren't available for pickup for like 6 weeks -- all backed up and short-staffed from COVID.

Dave you need to invest in a truck...just don't tell anyone or they will call you to help them move.  >:D

So, I sold the bunkbeds.

The person who got them was a slapdick.  Late by about 45 minutes on the first day.  Didn't even message me until 8 minutes after they were supposed to arrive.
They could only fit about half in the truck.

The 2nd day, they were an hour and a half late, no message at all.

Slapdicks.  But that problem is gone and I got $60 out of it, which I was willing to give for free.

I had no idea. I don't have kids and the closest I have dealt with anything resembling a bunk bed was a  loft in college and those things were easy to pass around.  I get it though. So sad we have become so litigious that charities will not accept perfectly good bunk beds.

I was going to start a new thread, but I realized that my premise was the same.

I am constantly amazed at the lack of general business etiquette when it comes to the general public.

I have had multiple messages from a person who only identifies themselves as "Tom".  Like, who calls a company and only uses their first name?  I can't look up the file and see what the hell the guy is talking about to call him back with the info he wants to know.

How do these people live?  Do they put their underwear on outside their pants?

-----

In other news, my father somewhat recently passed away and he was very prepared in terms of his estate -- everything was worked out with an attorney ahead of time, so there was no probate or anything like that for things like his retirement IRA.  Even still, executing everything was very confusing and required a bunch of work from all 5 of his kids, bankers, attorneys -- we are all intelligent, generally understanding of the process, college educated, etc.  ...not to mention we are all on the same page and weren't infighting -- and it was still a difficult process that required a lot of work and time.

How do dumb people do that?  Do they just get fucked by society?

They usually have dumb parents that don't have anything to leave that requires much work

So, I actually asked the banker this question and he said that the answer is that they just pay a bunch in taxes.  "People see dollar signs and are just happy that there's a check in front of them".

Yeah, my dad died last Sept. and he was also very prepared in terms of his estate. All investments and money accounts were TOD split evenly between the heirs. There was no infighting, but it is still a long drawn out process. There's still one account open for him to receive his tax return before it's distributed between the heirs. But his return is stuck in limbo with the IRS, so no telling how long it might take to finish everything. Hell, it could take a year or more to settle his estate if it lasts a couple more months. In 2021 it shouldn't be this long of a process for someone who has their estate planned out well.

Dave's original post rings true.  The general public really are slapdicks.  In my opinion I think a large part of that is the way over the last 40 years or so, society has seen an enormous decline in just being considerate of others.  We could probably debate the reasons for years, but I think is pretty obvious that a large percentage of people today are just selfish and inconsiderate of others and they think nothing of inconveniencing others.  Common courtesy used to be the standard.  But now it is so rare that if someone makes the effort to be polite, considerate, etc. that when it happens, it really gets my attention.  What used to be expected is now so rare that I feel like singling someone out for praise when they are polite and considerate.  

Common courtesy...Common sense... Uncommon, at best.

Indeed.

The problem is that some of us are enablers. We'll bend over backwards to help these people. Some of us need to stop supporting those that waste people's time. Like I mentioned earlier when selling something, it's first come first serve meaning the first person to show up and hand me cash is taking it and I couldn't care less whom that is. Trust me these people that show up hours late will be unhappy when they find out I already sold it to someone else, so we always make sure to tell them if someone comes along first, sorry. You want it, better get here quick before it's gone. Can't come till Tuesday at 7:00 pm, well I hope it's still here when you show up and don't be surprised if I walk out the door to go eat dinner at 7:15 and you're not here. Sucks to be you.

What evidence do you have that people were more considerate 40 years ago (1981) than they are today?  Or is that just a belief based on the mythology of the “back in the good old days”.  There were rude self centered people back then and also polite and considerate people— just like today.

 While this isn’t proof people are in general more polite today than 40 years ago, I do know in my town cars are much more likely to stop for pedestrians trying to cross a crosswalk.  Same town, same crosswalks. Only difference is now I am an adult walking for exercise and 40 years ago I was a kid trying to get to and from school.

My "evidence" is purely anecdotal which is why I prefaced my comment with "in my opinion".   It was a generalization based on my own observations.  I agree with you about cars being more likely to allow pedestrians to cross in a crosswalk.  But I think the argument could be made that the specific example you gave although correct is more of an exception than the rule.  I don't have any kind of scientific qualifier (not sure there would even be a way to scientifically qualify whether people are less considerate than they were 40 years ago) to support my claim.  It was just my takeaway from being an observer of human behavior.  I don't think that citing one example which is contrary to my comment invalidates my comment any more than citing one example to support my claim would validate it.  And I didn't refer to them as the "good old days".  Of course there were rude and self centered people back then.  Never said there wasn't.  A 100% positive outcome in a sample size is not necessary in order to make an accurate assessment of something.  You often operate with a 100% or 0% view of things.  I suppose life would be much simpler if that were the case in the real world, but it rarely is. 

I am not claiming people are better.  I am refuting that they are worse. Standard refrain of every group, “back when I was a kid we use to….”


“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

― Socrates

I don't really care enough to get into a big debate about it.  It isn't anything that either of us can quantify, so it is just a matter of differing opinions. 

I think in almost every way one can quantify it, people are indeed much more courteous today.

Nope

Obviously crime statistics are drastically lower than they were 40 years ago, but perhaps we're not talking about that kind of considerate.

So I'll say this: if you're not a straight white Christian male, America is MUCH more considerate today than it was in 1981.  And it's not even close.

I don't even understand what the frame of reference is for even trying to claim that people were more considerate 40 years ago.  Are we talking about... TV shows?  Maybe music was less coarse?  It seems like every facet of actual life was demonstrably meaner.

More courteous or not, one thing for sure is that you were much more likely in the old days to get shot in a saloon.

I had this conversation a few years ago with Jehovas Witnesses that came to my door. They asked me if i agreed that the world today is more dangerous than it's ever been.  I told them that the opposite was in fact true. Live expectancy has never been higher, people have access to technology that improves their lives and they are connected to each other like never before. There aren't masses of people dying from polio or smallpox anymore. Europe isn't at war and instead is a giant cooperative.

Then of course we had Brexit, and Covid and anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers and Trump in the white house and this thread is proven right. People are just slapdicks. It doesn't matter how much better it gets for people at large, it doesn't matter how much we improve as a society. there are always going to be idiots that do idiotic things.

I'm seriously laughing out loud because even you know how ridiculous that is. Look at the comment section of ANY article or social post to the general public. People are easily more dickish today than ever in recent history. Few people would talk to people in public like they do from behind the safety of their keyboard. The bad part of the internet is making people worse and not better.

cour·te·ous
/ˈkərdēəs/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
polite, respectful, or considerate in manner.
"she was courteous and obliging to all"

You're confusing courteous with civil.  People are more civil.  They definitely aren't more courteous.

You're right, of course... I see much less common courtesy on social media than I use to as a kid.   ;)

If you want an actual legitimate reason for the lack of courtesy on social media, the term you want is...

"The bravery of being out of range"

In the old days, when communications were pretty much face to face, rudeness had more tangible consequences. Piss someone off, you get punched in the mouth, or worse...a gunshot to the chest. These days, people can say anything they want at any time...with relative impunity.

It is hard to compare how people act online today to how they acted online in 1981.  A better comparison is how they act in-person today vs in-person in 1981. Comparing in-person in 1981 vs online today is a better comparison of the technology than the era.

Did the thoughts of how people acted online even exist in 1981?   From what I've seen, they had modems and bulletin board systems and emails back then but they were limited to certain organizations and certainly not shared socially.  The internet didn't go mainstream until mid 1995.  

Some of these responses are fucking comical.

Wait a minute... is the premise of this "people used to be nicer" argument seriously based on comparing online interactions in 2021 to real life interactions in 1981? Obviously you should be comparing apples to apples, real life to real life.

But even if we compare 1981 offline to 2021 online, 1981 is still far worse.  The amount of physical threats and intimidation then makes mean tweets seem pretty tame in comparison.

A news story out of Palm Beach this morning prompted me to make a Slapdick of the Year Nomination.   A guy was having a seizure while driving in a ritzy neighborhood of Palm Beach this week.  A landscaper saw the car slowly rolling and the guy having a seizure behind the wheel.  He used his own body to stop the car and started to render aid to the driver.  It must have caused a commotion because a few homeowners stepped out of their front doors and this one rich a-hole started yelling "Get off my yard.  Let him die somewhere else."   This story was backed up by a Police Report.  I would like to nominate that homeowner for Slapdick of the Year consideration.   

So...the dude having the seizure drove off the road and into the guy's yard?

The article didn't specify that so I don't know.  My assumption was that the landscaper pulled the driver out of the car and was rendering aid on the guy's yard.  But that is purely speculation on my part.  The article did say that the landscaper stopped the car from rolling by using his bodyweight and that the tire ran over his foot.  So I guess that is what led me to believe the vehicle was still on the road.  But I don't want to make it sound like I'm saying that is a fact that the car was still in the road. 

I think "Asshole of the Year" is more appropriate.

Can't say there's a general good impression about the residents of Palm beach down here (not talking about west palm beach). This isn't that surprising to me based on the people that live on that island.

Maybe she just wanted you to slap some dick? Ba dum tss.................

^ Why do you think she wanted your spot?  That doesn't make sense to me.

Total flirt move on her part.  Maine missed his chance.  Kidding.  If there were actually that many other open spots a lot closer to the store, she kind of sounds like a nutjob.  Or going back to my original premise, she wanted Maine to give her a nutjob.  Thank you, thank you very much.  Stick around for my 10:00 show and be sure to tip your servers. 

Yeah, Maine. What she look like? Crazy or slutty, flip a coin.

^^^ I'm betting she was a red head, they're crazy.

They're all crazy. Was it a fancy car? How big is your truck? My guess is she was trying to protect her car and didn't trust Maine leaving.

There is some validity to the saying, "Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed."

You sir, have just won the platinum double diamond grand prize 👌👌👌

I could understand her frustration if the parking lot was full and your spot was close to the entrance.   I've done that a couple times.   But far away from the store with a few dozen spots open.... SMH.

Ram 1500 bros, woo.  Mine's a Rebel.

Here's one no one has asked but I don't know if it matters as much in Maine. Was it a shady spot? In Florida a good parking spot is about shade access, not closeness to the store.

I'm gravedigging this thread, because the same thing is happening to me again.  I'm giving away some couches.  People show interest, text me all day, then ghost forever.

If I am selling something I will deal with other people.  If I am giving it away for free.  Post it online with photo and address first come first serve.  Stick in front yard with a sign saying free.

I agree with Hoodie.   Or better yet, call your local Salvation Army or mom and pop thrift store.  The majority of them have one or two moving trucks and will come and take your furniture at no cost to you.