Great new party games

[BigDaddyFin]

I'm tired of the only thing anybody ever does when I go to a party anymore is sit around on their asses and drink.  Nobody my age plays cards anymore really which pisses me off because I'm a halfway decent card player.  So I've come up with some new party games.

1. Guess what's in my pants.  Sounds dirty so the chicks will like it, but it's really not. 
You hide random commonly held items in your pocket.  Wallet, keys, breathmints etc.
Go around in a circle, if someone gets them all on the first try you have to drink an entire beer.  If not, everyone who doesn't guess right has to drink an entire beer with you.

2. Dil-darts.  I'm so pissed that lawn darts are banned.  I still have a set, but I can't take it out because the cocksucker who lives behind us will call the cops.  He's still mad apparently about what I did to his miserable fucking dog.  So I got a big tarp, painted a giant pussy with a target over it.  Then I had some lawn darts made that look like giant dildos with plastic tips.  All the fun of lawn darts for the guys, giant fake dicks for the ladies, nobody can get hurt.

3. Chase girls around with a stick.  Great because she has no clue what you're going to do to her once you catch her, (no don't hit her with it) and you're both getting exercise.  Releases pent up sexual frustration.

4.  Sack the Mrs.  Wait until she's in a prone position and jump on her.  Some chicks are into that.

5.  I Got Your Face.  Sneak up behind an unsuspecting person.  Wait for them to turn around, and then when they do, palm their face.  Don't hurt them, but the look on their face is priceless.  Make sure you yell "I GOT YOUR FACE" on contact otherwise it doesn't count.  I do this often at the office.

6.  Death By Musical Instrument.  I got this one from Animal House.  If you get that beatnik asshole that you can't get rid of, wait until he pulls out his guitar or whatever.  When he's in the middle of the song, grab it away from him and smash it.  You can even insult him while you're doing it.

7.  Don't touch that.  When you want to stir up some shit at a party, go stand by the refreshment cooler.  Someone goes to grab a beer, yell out don't touch that as loud as you possibly can.   This is a variation of Real Genius with the Hamburger.  Grab a food item from a chicks hands and throw it.  Then say "Don't you know that eating that will give you very large tits/ghetto booty etc.

More when I think of them.