Bear hunting: a Maine joke:

[MaineDolFan]

So this guy is out in the woods, hunting bear.  He spies a bear passing by a brush.  Sitting, he focuses his gun.  The bear vanishes.  A couple minutes later he feels a tap on his shoulder.  Turning he sees the bear. 

"The way I see it" the bear says "is that you could pull down your pants and let me fuck you...or I'll tear you apart and eat you while you're still alive enough to watch me."

The man turned around, pulled down his pants, and the bear had his way with him.

The next day the man was pissed.  He took his gun and limped off back into the woods, determined the find the bear.  Shortly after arriving, he spied the bear near a brook.  He took aim and, before he could shoot, the bear vanished behind a clump of trees.  A few moments later...tap tap tap.  The man turned and saw the bear behind him again.

"The way I see it" the bear says "is that you could pull down your pants and let me fuck you...or I'll tear you apart and eat you while you're still alive enough to watch me."

The man unbuckled his pants, turned and the bear took him again.

The next morning the man was pissed.  He spent the night rubbing tucks pads on his ass, he had to use one of his wife's maxipads in his tightie whities.  He took every gun in the house and headed into the woods before sun rise.  This would be the day that he had his revenge.  He rigged wires to trap the bear, set bear traps in every location he could think.  He set them with steak and chicken.  As the sun came up, he found a spot where he would see if the bear came around.  Soon, he saw his foe.  Taking aim with his gun, he almost had a perfect shot.  Almost...and then the bear vanished.  Moments later...tap tap tap.

The man turned and the bear was smiling, arms crossed over his chest.  "Dude" the bear said.  "You ain't here for the hunting, are ya?"

[Denver_Bronco]

LMFAO ! Excellent ! 

[CF DolFan]

  Hilarious!!

[pintofguinness14]

Yikes!