Should I start using the are you interested feature on facebook?

[dolphins4life]

I'm 22, soon to be 23 (September 14th).  I haven't had a girlfriend throughout college, yet I keep seeing these matches on "Are You Interested"

Should I bite for them?  I feel like I need to do something. 

What advice do you people have?  good idea?  bad idea? 

[Buddhagirl]

You're young. Get out of your house and meet some people. Parties, school activities, class, things like that.

[Phishfan]

You are too young and in a perfect opportunity to meet people. Dating was so easy while I was in school. You could meet brand new people every day if you wanted. I'm with Buddha, stay away at this stage of the game.

[Brian Fein]

That is definitely NOT the way to go.

You need to go out and meet people.  I totally agree with Phish and Buddha. 

Let me guess, you're shy, don't have much confidence with the ladies, etc?  You don't feel like there's an option other than being "fixed up" by someone (friend, web site, service, etc)?

I used to be like that.

But you have to force yourself to be outgoing, go out and make friends, be sociable, maybe join a group doing something you enjoy, sports, football, whatever.  But make sure its in person, not online.  Practice being charismatic and being generally friendly and the rest will come.

You just gotta meet people.  The more the better.

[Sunstroke]

If you aren't finding enough hunka-hunka burning love whilst trolling the local karaoke bars, I think one of these might help...

http://www.isexdoll.com/_e/Sex_dolls_for_men/product/PD3546-00/Asian_Fever_Love_Doll.htm

...just don't sing to her. She hates that.

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

Are you looking for someone to chat with on the internet?

Problem with the internet is most people you "meet" on the internet don't live anywhere near you.  I assume you want a girl friend that lives in your area.  They smell and feel better. 

You attend college.  You work in a college dorm.  If a 22 year old can't meet find another person his age there he ain't gonna find them anywhere.

I am assuming Brian is right about you being shy, .  I was (still a bit am) that way too......If you have trouble with the direct method use the indirect method.

That nice chick who fix your internet.  Tell her you want to thank her by buying her lunch as thanks.  You avoid the "asking her on a date" thing ‘cause it isn't a date it is a thank you for fixing your computer.  But it is a date and it goes well it could lead to more dates. 

Another way is study partners.  I always choose study partners I wouldn't mind sleeping with. Most times they remained just study partners.  Twice however, once in college and once in grad school, it led to more.  For example in college me and a girl did our calculus homework together.  We weren’t formally dating but we were spending a lot of time together.  After we got done with homework one of us would often ask the other if they wanted to get something to eat or hit the bar.  Wasn’t really formal date, but in was a date, except we each paid our own way (at least early on, later on sometimes they became formal dates).  Also she occasionally complained about being stressed so I would give her back and neck massages.  As massages don’t work best thru a turtle neck and a sweater, it eventually leads to her disrobing after one study session in my dorm room.  I was too shy to directly tell her I was sexually interested in her and would like to see her topless and she was too shy to tell me she was sexually interested in me.  But indirectly it happened -- she was topless and lying flat down on my bed. ( She had told me to turn around, so at this point I had not actually seen her topless.  With the wink-wink idea that it was just a back rub and she would be putting her shirt back on without me seeing anything.)  Once we got to this point things move along nicely, without either of us ever asking the other if we were interested in sex, or if we wanted to date, heck we hadn’t even been on what could be formally called a “date”.  We were just study partners that had been hanging out with each other for a few months.

Another is to join a third-wheel group.  I started dating girl this way.  A guy I knew was dating a girl, but her college roommate would tag along.  He absolutely hated the roommate (not really her, but her tagging along) but his girl friend was too nice to say no her roommate when she wanted to join in. She was shy around boys and depressed that she didn’t have boyfriend.  The roommate was someone I thought would be nice to get to know better.  So I started tagging along too.  At first he really hated the idea of having two – third wheels instead of just one.  But pretty quickly and pretty naturally without me ever asking her for a date or she wanted to me my girlfriend it really started to become double dates and eventually it split off from that so we were no longer a foursome, but two twosomes.  And all four of us were much much happier. 

So get away from the computer and start hanging out with kids your age. 

If you can do what Brien suggests and get become less shy -- great. 

If not look for groups that have an odd number in your favor: 2 girls – 1 boy or  3 girls – 2 boys.  And don’t pass up opportunity to ask a girl on a date under other pretenses – as thanks, to study together, etc. 
   

[Brian Fein]

That nice chick who fix your internet.  Tell her you want to thank her by buying her lunch as thanks.  You avoid the "asking her on a date" thing ‘cause it isn't a date it is a thank you for fixing your computer.  But it is a date and it goes well it could lead to more dates. 

This is a good idea, I think.  Even if she has a boyfriend, or is otherwise attached, it'll help you open up with some one-on-one time with her in a non-work setting.  Like he said, its not a date, so no pressure to "perform".

Make it happen.

[Pappy13]

she occasionally complained about being stressed so I would give her back and neck massages.  As massages don’t work best thru a turtle neck and a sweater, it eventually leads to her disrobing after one study session in my dorm room.  I was too shy to directly tell her I was sexually interested in her and would like to see her topless and she was too shy to tell me she was sexually interested in me.  But indirectly it happened -- she was topless and lying flat down on my bed. ( She had told me to turn around, so at this point I had not actually seen her topless.  With the wink-wink idea that it was just a back rub and she would be putting her shirt back on without me seeing anything.)  Once we got to this point things move along nicely..

Dude at this point I'm thinking the girl is thinking "When is this dumb ass going to take the hint?" LOL

Just messing with you Hoodie, I think we can all relate.

[Sunstroke]

I always choose study partners I wouldn't mind sleeping with.

Ah, Hoodie...you're all about the pursuit of knowledge...or nookie.

[Dave Gray]

Do you think Asperger's is part of the reason you're having trouble connecting?

Two of my nephews have it and they're both very different, personality-wise, when it comes to interacting with peers.

One will go up and talk to anybody without fear at all, but it comes across as very socially awkward.  I imagine if he tried to meet a girlfriend in a traditional setting, that it'd be very tough for him.

[dolphins4life]

^^^^

It could be, plus the fact that I have severe ADHD, which can make me act awkwardly.  It's hard for me to control.  (For example, I blurt things out to myself a lot)

I have started seeing this one girl from one of my classes.  We've gone on dates as friends.  I'd like to ask her out, but I'm afraid if I try to make it a bf-gf relationship, I will lose her as a friend. 

It's extremely difficult for me.  When I was a freshman, I tried making advances on girls, always failed, and sunk into depression.  I nearly took my own life midway through my freshman year.  Rarely, but sometimes, I can get girls to be attracted to me at bars (not karaoke bars), but I can't seem to get it past the meeting stage to the "Let's go out for coffee sometime" stage.

Sometimes, it seems people are attracted to me, but when I try to take it to another level, it doesn't work.  Take, for example, the girl who fixed my computer.  She has seemed to be interested in me.  She facebook IM'd me telling me she had looked at my facebook photos and also clicked like on both my piano covers that I posted to facebook.  We had tentatively set up a time to hang out on Monday, but she had plans, so that got cancelled.  I'm wondering if I should try again, or will that make her uncomfortable. 

[dolphins4life]

That is definitely NOT the way to go.

You need to go out and meet people.  I totally agree with Phish and Buddha. 

Let me guess, you're shy, don't have much confidence with the ladies, etc?  You don't feel like there's an option other than being "fixed up" by someone (friend, web site, service, etc)?

I used to be like that.

But you have to force yourself to be outgoing, go out and make friends, be sociable, maybe join a group doing something you enjoy, sports, football, whatever.  But make sure its in person, not online.  Practice being charismatic and being generally friendly and the rest will come.

You just gotta meet people.  The more the better.

I'm in a lot of groups, but when I try to go out and meet people, it doesn't work. 

[dolphins4life]

So, how do you people suggest I go out and meet people?

And how do I get people to be attracted me when I interact with them.

A lot of the people in my groups like me as a person and interact well with me, but it doesn't usually work when I take it to the hang out stage of friendship. 

[Buddhagirl]

^^^^

It could be, plus the fact that I have severe ADHD, which can make me act awkwardly.  It's hard for me to control.  (For example, I blurt things out to myself a lot)

I have started seeing this one girl from one of my classes.  We've gone on dates as friends.  I'd like to ask her out, but I'm afraid if I try to make it a bf-gf relationship, I will lose her as a friend. 

It's extremely difficult for me.  When I was a freshman, I tried making advances on girls, always failed, and sunk into depression.  I nearly took my own life midway through my freshman year.  Rarely, but sometimes, I can get girls to be attracted to me at bars (not karaoke bars), but I can't seem to get it past the meeting stage to the "Let's go out for coffee sometime" stage.

Sometimes, it seems people are attracted to me, but when I try to take it to another level, it doesn't work.  Take, for example, the girl who fixed my computer.  She has seemed to be interested in me.  She facebook IM'd me telling me she had looked at my facebook photos and also clicked like on both my piano covers that I posted to facebook.  We had tentatively set up a time to hang out on Monday, but she had plans, so that got cancelled.  I'm wondering if I should try again, or will that make her uncomfortable. 

Contact her again. If she says no leave her alone. She might have actually had plans.
Work on your awkwardness. Awkwardness is a HUGE turn-off and can really come across as creepy.  No one wants a creepy boyfriend.

[dolphins4life]

All of things you people have suggested, I've tried but they don't work for me.

I helped a girl study throughout summer classes this summer, but when I tried to take it to a study date stage, it didn't work.  She fell for somebody else in the class.

One girl, I knew told me she wanted me to visit her in her new dorm last spring, but I tried several times to make it happen and it didn't.  Now I think she views me as kind of creepy. 

When I try to meet people in bars, they usually don't respond positively, and when they do, one of the following things happens:

1) I mess up big time

2) they aren't interested in doing anything outside of the bar

I sometimes think what hurts me is that I look so much younger than my age.  When shaved, I don't look like an adult, I look like a school boy.  But when shaved, I look like a ruffian.