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Author Topic: Elysium - My nomination for worst movie of the last decade.  (Read 2813 times)
Pappy13
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« on: April 20, 2014, 11:57:43 pm »

I finally had a chance to see this movie and now I'm sorry that I didn't miss it. How in the name of movies could they butcher this story this badly? I can't decide what of the following problems with the movie is the worst.

1) I was almost physically ill from the number of times that Damon should have been killed but wasn't because the person who should have pulled the trigger wanted to wax poetic about how many different ways they were going to kill him with their bare hands. I'd watch again to actually count, but I don't want to waste ANOTHER 2 hours. My guess is it's conservatively seven.

2) I couldn't understand about 1/2 of what was said which in a way was good because when they did say something I understood, I had to cringe at the pure stupidity of it. Just what was it with all the horrible accents anyway? Did they just tell everyone to make one up? Because you know in the future apparently no one wants to sound alike. The robots were the easiest characters to understand.

3) Can anybody explain why they would be dousing robots with radiation anyway? They have cancer? Does radiation harden steel or something? I mean why not have him just work at a nuclear powerplant or something? They decide there weren't enough robots in the movie, he has to make them too? I can just hear the director yelling MORE BOTS, MORE BOTS!!!

4) Let's count the plot twists that don't seem to have a point. If the whole place runs itself, what was all that business about a president anyway? All that BS about him and his childhood sweetheart and her sick daughter, he was only ever doing any of this because he didn't want to die, remember? Anybody have a clue what Max's buddy's motivation is anyway? I couldn't decide if he was sending shuttles to be blown up because he just thought it was funny, was trying to make a few bucks on the side or was genuinely trying to help people. Maybe he mentioned it while mumbling some stuff, didn't understand too much of what came out of his mouth.

5) Without trying to get too technical and all, just how is it that you can provide a breathable atmosphere on an unenclosed space station out in the middle of space? Yeah, Yeah I know physics, anatomy, chemistry, biology, physiology...pretty much anything scientific is on really shaky ground in this movie, so why am I picking on this one in particular? I don't really know. I guess I just figured that something in the movie should make sense. When Moonraker is a more accurate portrayal of science fiction, there's something wrong here.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2014, 08:56:27 am by Pappy13 » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2014, 02:42:51 am »


I agree 100% with everything you noted, though I have to admit that I simply turned it off at about the 45 minute mark. The plot was onion-paper thin and contrived, the dialogue made me shake my head every other line and I had a higher "suspension of disbelief" for the Killer Tomatoes movies than I was able to muster for Elysium. Between this dog and the movie Contact, Jodie Foster is apparently trying to corner the market on god-awful sci-fi movies. Would someone please check out the cast & credits for Battlefield Earth? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she had a bit part in that one as well.


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« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2014, 06:41:02 am »

I thought it was okay at best.  I didn't hate it like you guys do, but I do realize it's not winning any awards.
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Pappy13
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« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2014, 08:34:47 am »

I thought it was okay at best.  I didn't hate it like you guys do, but I do realize it's not winning any awards.
Have you seen Oblivion? Now that was Science Fiction done right. The dogfights in that sweet ship that Cruise pilots is worth the price of admission alone. While some people thought the plot was contrived it's MILES AND MILES better than Elysium.
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Pappy13
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« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2014, 08:38:13 am »

I agree 100% with everything you noted, though I have to admit that I simply turned it off at about the 45 minute mark.
Good call. You missed most of #1 I bet. I wanted to do that about 4 or 5 times but just kept hoping that something would save this movie. I was wrong.
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Phishfan
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« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2014, 08:56:25 am »

As for your #5, you take no issue with the premise of the movie that their technology has advanced to a point that they can cure any illness that easily but you cannot buy into them being able to create atmosphere? The Earth is floating around in the same space and we have atmosphere.

I really didn't care for the movie either. I don't think I disliked it as much as you (maybe because I could actually understand the language) but it was not good to say the least.
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Pappy13
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« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2014, 09:44:38 am »

As for your #5, you take no issue with the premise of the movie that their technology has advanced to a point that they can cure any illness that easily but you cannot buy into them being able to create atmosphere? The Earth is floating around in the same space and we have atmosphere.
Granted that you could take exception to just about every single thing in the whole movie I just picked one that didn't really seem to have a purpose. I guess it was important to have the first shuttle "land" on the space station so that the next one could crash on it. Got to have the all important shuttle crash in any science fiction movie you know. Yes the earth does have an atmosphere but not everything in space does, so not really sure why a man made space station would, but perhaps you're right and I'm being a bit nit picky with that one. It's just that the whole movie from start to finish requires you to simply say "sure, why not". I got a little tired of doing that which isn't usually a problem with Science Fiction movies and me. I didn't have that problem with Oblivion even once.

So how about another scene that I was really confounded about or maybe I was just really confused about. Was it me or were there a bunch of empty sample size bottles of booze floating around in one of the shuttles that was blown up by the guy that launched missiles into space from earth without really any kind of tracking mechanism nearest I could tell? So these people are all escaping a dieing earth to go to Elysium and the shuttles have in-flight alcohol service? WTF? Did I imagine that or did that really happen? At times I thought scenes were SUPPOSED to be humorous, like they were making a dark comedy. Was that intended? I never could quite decide.

And then there's Damon who has radiation poisoning and hours afterwards can barely walk, but days later he's doing his best empersonation of Jackie Chan even though he's about to die at any moment? Is that because of the neat little pills he's downing or because of the exo-skeleton suit he's wearing that looks like it would fall apart if I took a tire iron to it a couple times and looked more like shock absorbers on my bike then some kind of device that would allow me to bend steel? I mean there's suspension of disbelief and then there's making a mockery of science. This seemed more like the latter than the former to me.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2014, 10:06:00 am by Pappy13 » Logged

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Spider-Dan
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« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2014, 11:35:29 am »

I agree 100% with everything you noted, though I have to admit that I simply turned it off at about the 45 minute mark. The plot was onion-paper thin and contrived, the dialogue made me shake my head every other line and I had a higher "suspension of disbelief" for the Killer Tomatoes movies than I was able to muster for Elysium. Between this dog and the movie Contact, Jodie Foster is apparently trying to corner the market on god-awful sci-fi movies. Would someone please check out the cast & credits for Battlefield Earth? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she had a bit part in that one as well.
I (mostly) liked Contact, except for the huge plot hole at the end (the recorder was running for however many minutes she said she was gone).
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« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2014, 11:35:47 am »

I never watched this movie.

I LOVED District 9, but heard nothing but complaints about Elysium.  Too bad.
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« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2014, 12:30:45 pm »

I (mostly) liked Contact, except for the huge plot hole at the end (the recorder was running for however many minutes she said she was gone).

And the fact that the alien appeared to her as her dad...or when the multi-gazillion dollar launch pad was destroyed, they just happened to have an exact duplicate that was already built on the other side of the world.

The movie was a dog, and a dog with fleas at that...

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"There's no such thing as objectivity. We're all just interpreting signals from the universe and trying to make sense of them. Dim, shaky, weak, staticky little signals that only hint at the complexity of a universe that we cannot begin to comprehend."
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Pappy13
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« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2014, 12:55:32 pm »

I (mostly) liked Contact, except for the huge plot hole at the end (the recorder was running for however many minutes she said she was gone).
I liked Contact too including the plot hole. A nod to the "unknown" which I thought worked well.
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« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2014, 01:11:39 pm »


When the alien showed up as her father, it was the single biggest letdown in the history of science fiction movies. If I had gone to the theater to see it, I would have asked for my money back for that alone...

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« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2014, 01:43:01 pm »

The alien wasn't her father.  He was just using that image to make her comfortable.  I've seen that in lots of other sci-fi.  Shit...Star Trek does that once a season, it seemed.
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Fau Teixeira
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« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2014, 01:55:19 pm »

i enjoyed contact . .and i enjoyed elysium  .. i thought contact was better but elysium was an ok time
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Sunstroke
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« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2014, 02:11:11 pm »

i enjoyed contact . .and i enjoyed elysium  .. i thought contact was better but elysium was an ok time

Did you buy the DVD for Battlefield Earth?

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