Movie Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

[VidKid]

Premise: With Megatron in hiding and Optimus Prime searching for the ‘creators’, Earth has declared war on all Transformers. But exactly how long have the Transformers been hiding on Earth? How long have they been working, in secret, with humans?

Rating: I couldn’t even write the premise without laughing because this movie was so bad and all over the place. Trying to pin down what ‘Bay’ wanted to accomplish was difficult. This is suppose to be the beginning of a new ‘universe’ for Hasbro and I suppose there are opportunities for more movies. But should there be?

Summary: Look, we all know what a Michael Bay Transformers movie is going to be about: giant fighting robots, lots of explosions and a hot chick. Needless to say, I was disappointed with all of them.

First, not enough robot fights. They were far and few between. Some of the battles were so quick it makes you wonder why its taken so long for the Autobots to defeat the Decepticons. It’s like they were made of aluminum, defeated so easily.

Second, explosions. Again, not as many as there could have been. Considering this was Michael Bay, I was a bit disappointed. Things were flying around. There were a couple big collisions, but it’s almost like they were really going to try to tell a story in this version. (notice I said ‘try’, more on that in a minute).

Third, the hot chick. Don’t get me wrong, she’s ‘hot’, but was really only wearing one outfit, very briefly, that emphasized this. There was no Megan Fox opening the car’s hood scene. And actually the number of wardrobe changes she had was laughable. For no reason, suddenly they’re wearing different clothes. Where did they come from? why? when?  Bay also added some ‘eye candy’ for the younger crowd. The 14yr ‘mechanic’ was cute and had her moments on screen to look good for the boys. I have a daughter and immediately wanted to cover those kids’ eyes (or pull out a shotgun). Wahlberg actually had the only scene that perked up the few ladies in attendance. Gratuitous, look at these large biceps and ripped abs.

As for the actual story, well, in theory it sounded good. Transformers, hiding on Earth for 1000s of years in an attempt to protect powerful items from the bad guys.  In reality, though, if you’ve ever played ‘telephone’ but with a story, where everyone tells a piece and then passes it on and the next person takes over. That’s what this plot line was like. It got to the end, but could have been 3 or more different stories. Very choppy and inconsistent.

Will I go see the next Transformers movie? Probably, its supposed to be a retro (80s) movie about Bumblebee and we’ll get to see the original yellow bug. Hopefully Bay keeps his word this time and is actually done with the franchise. Would really like to see a better Transformers movie. If anyone else wants a better Transformers experience, watch the animated movie from '86.

[Spider-Dan]

I saw the last Transformers movie (Age of Extinction) and, considering quality x length, it was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life by a sizable margin.

I hear this new one is worse.

[Dave Gray]

VidKid, defend yourself.

How do you justify going to see these terrible movies over and over, that you continue to think are terrible, and you know they're going to be terrible going in?

Especially since you have a limited amount of movies that you get to see in theaters...

Is it a sense of loyalty?

[VidKid]

(^ha! you weren't kidding)

There are a combination of factors:   

I like a certain style of movie in theaters vs the house. Like something with lots of explosions or cool effects or that actually used the correct equipment (IMAX cameras v standard).
I like certain genres better than others and are willing to spend the night out (to be entertained) to see them vs what 'could' be a better movie. I'll just have more fun this way.
There are also times where I like to see how a trilogy or storyline will end (or begin, like the case with Transformers - this was supposed to be the beginning of a combined universe). There is always hope that 'this is the one that turns it around'.
Things from childhood take precedence as well. Nostalgia is always a fun time, even if its bad.
Financial situation at the time of release. For example, I usually hit all the superhero movies, but I missed a whole string recently. I didn't go see Logan, X-men, Dr.Strange. I even missed the last Star Trek & Bond.
Could be the actor. I think I've seen everything with The Rock, except Baywatch(yet). But i'll watch that at home.
Having a kid... I watch almost all the animated movies at the theatre (except Smurfs.. never been a fan).
Also, if I can only watch one movie, let's say like this weekend, and its Despicable Me 3 or The Beguiled. I'm taking DM3 every time.

It's just La La Land or Manchester doesn't 'need' to be a theater viewing, IMO. I mean, It's not like i never go see something else - Inception, The Fighter, The Martian, Pitch Perfect 2, Room, Gone Girl... There is an wide range of 'other' movies I see in theaters. Just not as frequently and I'm usually not as vocal about them as I am my passionate ones.

[Phishfan]

Especially since you have a limited amount of movies that you get to see in theaters...

Reading through his explanation, I wouldn't say he has a limited amount. It feels to me like he goes to as many or more than the people I know and consider regular movie goers.

[Dave Gray]

^ Of course, but he still has to choose between what's there and can't see them all.  So, for every Transformer, he's not going to see Baby Driver.

[Tenshot13]

^ Of course, but he still has to choose between what's there and can't see them all.  So, for every Transformer, he's not going to see Baby Driver.

I'm sure Baby Driver is good, it seems to be getting rave reviews, but what a horrible name for a movie.  His name is Baby, we get it, but it sounds like a movie about a little girl driving her Pink Barbie Corvette Power Wheel, whereas Transformers has nostalgia and big robots fighting, even if they kick you in the childhood for having such a bad adaptation.

[VidKid]

Checked my bank account over the last 12 months. (july 7th to July 4th). I have seen one movie in the theatre per month over that time period.

Take into consideration times I didn't get a say (like valentines or anniversary dates or bday or daughter's choice)... and when some months could have 10 new movie releases -  I wanna watch me some Transformers.

This month should be better as I've selected Spider-man to be watched this Thurs.

[Thundergod]

Being the resident Transformers fanboy, I had no problems with any of the 4 movies before (let me take that back, I had some problems, but they weren't deal breakers). I went in expecting action and robots, and that's what I got. Anyone who wanted the storyline of the ages with "character development " needn't be watching movies about toys from the 80's.

That said, holy crap this movie sucked. I don't usually nitpick when watching stuff like this, but damn, there were just too many wtf moments. And the forced comedy, God I can't stand it. And kids, 99% of the time I hate children in my action flicks. Stop. I am sorely disappointed with The Last Knight. I don't even think a fan edited version can save this mess, like Revenge of the Fallen.

If anyone has the time, this pretty much sums of the movie: 
http://io9.gizmodo.com/transformers-the-last-knight-the-spoiler-faq-1796409426
^^^
funnier after you've seen the movie.

[bsmooth]

Baby Driver was a fantastic movie. I am known to go see movies that I know will be bad or cheesy, but I could not bring myself to see either the new Transformers or FF8. Michael Bay needs to be banned from movie making for a few years.