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Author Topic: Question about molestation  (Read 3701 times)
CF DolFan
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« on: January 30, 2018, 11:32:35 am »

I have a question.  I do not condone adults having sex with teens but I think if you are within a certain age frame and consensual that it shouldn't be illegal or definitely not the same as real molestation. When I was in school many seniors were having sex with freshmen girls. The age spread could be 18 or 19 to 14. I can't remember anyone thinking twice about it.  When I was in my late 20 or early 30s (ten years or so later) I knew a 19 year old who was arrested for having sex with a 14 year old ... although the parents were fully supportive of their relationship. I'm not sure how they felt about the sex part but they didn't press charges. The State did and he spent many hours in group therapy with men who had molested babies and even their own kids. He was completely grossed out by the things they spoke about.

My question is since times are definitely different now than in the 80s ... do you think people and their "acts" from then should be held accountable to today's standards? I personally don't think it's fair nor do I think an 18 year old should go to jail because his girlfriend is 16. There has to be a better way than just using 18 as a cut-off.
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Tenshot13
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« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2018, 01:04:33 pm »

Florida the range is from 16-23.  Romeo and Juliet law I think?
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Spider-Dan
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« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2018, 01:05:26 pm »

I strongly doubt we have a crisis of 18-year-olds going to jail for dating 16-year-olds.  But 19-year-olds dating 14-year-olds is a pretty big step away from that.

Given that the age of consent varies from 16 to 18 between states, I'm not really going to throw a fit if two young people who are both of age to drive but not old enough to drink are dating.  And obviously, legal adults are free to date anyone of any age older than them.

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pondwater
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« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2018, 01:28:34 pm »

I strongly doubt we have a crisis of 18-year-olds going to jail for dating 16-year-olds.  But 19-year-olds dating 14-year-olds is a pretty big step away from that.

Given that the age of consent varies from 16 to 18 between states, I'm not really going to throw a fit if two young people who are both of age to drive but not old enough to drink are dating.  And obviously, legal adults are free to date anyone of any age older than them.


So if the age of consent was 16 and that 16 year old consented to have sex with a 40 year old, would you throw a fit?
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Fau Teixeira
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« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2018, 01:47:34 pm »

if the age of consent is 16 then that 16 year old can consent to have sex with a 40 year old .. i don't have a legal problem with it .. i think it's a poor choice for the 16 year old for so many other reasons .. but not legal ones.

Personally i think the age of consent should be 18 .. which it is for pretty much everything else. As far as the whole romeo and juliet laws .. i'm ok with an age range if both people are close in age. 19 vs 14 isn't close .. it's almost a 33% difference in age.
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Spider-Dan
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« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2018, 01:49:02 pm »

So if the age of consent was 16 and that 16 year old consented to have sex with a 40 year old, would you throw a fit?
If it's legal, it's legal.  At that point, opinions about the propriety of the relationship are irrelevant.
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MyGodWearsAHoodie
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« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2018, 04:58:58 pm »

Certainly there is a difference between an 18 with a 16 vs a 35 with a 12. 

If I was king of the universe. 

If both over 18 no crime.  A 90 year old plus a 19 year is creepy but okay.

If age difference is less than 730 days no crime regardless of ages.

If age difference 731 or more but less 1460 or the younger person is 17 years old.  Misdemeanor.

If age difference is 1460 or more and the younger person is 16 or younger than felony. 

Most states have some sort of graduated scale, with close enough in age no a crime but more severe as it gets wider. 
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Phishfan
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« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2018, 01:39:38 pm »

A 19 year old with a 14 year old is creepy. When I was 19 I was looking to date women old enough to buy my beer.
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CF DolFan
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« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2018, 03:22:45 pm »

Certainly there is a difference between an 18 with a 16 vs a 35 with a 12. 

If I was king of the universe. 

If both over 18 no crime.  A 90 year old plus a 19 year is creepy but okay.

If age difference is less than 730 days no crime regardless of ages.

If age difference 731 or more but less 1460 or the younger person is 17 years old.  Misdemeanor.

If age difference is 1460 or more and the younger person is 16 or younger than felony. 

Most states have some sort of graduated scale, with close enough in age no a crime but more severe as it gets wider. 
I fall in line with where you are.

A 19 year old with a 14 year old is creepy. When I was 19 I was looking to date women old enough to buy my beer.
There are many seniors in high school who are 19 and many freshmen who are 14 and they attend the same parties. Most 19 year olds are looking to get laid more than they are looking to drink. Besides ... just like in our days ... kids can still get alcohol fairly easy.  There isn't a high school party that doesn't have it as well as other drugs.
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Spider-Dan
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« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2018, 03:42:22 pm »

I don't know if I would say that there are "many" 19-year-old seniors.  They would have been 15-year-old 8th graders and 7-year-old kindergarteners.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2018, 03:44:27 pm by Spider-Dan » Logged

CF DolFan
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« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2018, 03:49:07 pm »

I don't know if I would say that there are "many" 19-year-old seniors.  They would have been 15-year-old 8th graders and 7-year-old kindergarteners.
The average person graduates at 18 but a lot at 17. If you failed a grade you could be 19. I graduated at 17 because of where my birthday fell so someone who is only 13 months (or more) older than me would be two years at certain points. That was normal seeing as how several people were held back at some point and also had birthdays earlier in the year than I.
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MyGodWearsAHoodie
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« Reply #11 on: January 31, 2018, 03:54:59 pm »

The average person graduates at 18 but a lot at 17. If you failed a grade you could be 19. I graduated at 17 because of where my birthday fell so someone who is only 13 months (or more) older than me would be two years at certain points. That was normal seeing as how several people were held back at some point and also had birthdays earlier in the year than I.

Which is why I phrased mine as I did having a statute that would alternate the legality every time some one had a birthday would be a flawed law
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Spider-Dan
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« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2018, 05:08:03 pm »

The average person graduates at 18 but a lot at 17. If you failed a grade you could be 19.
I agree that there is some non-zero number of 19-year-olds in high school; I wouldn't describe it as "many," especially in a school district where the age admissions policy results in "many" 14-year-old freshmen.  In other words, a school district could have "many" 19-year-old seniors, or "many" 14-year-old freshmen, but it shouldn't have both.

But even if we grant the existence of 19-year-old seniors, I think that limited subset of students should probably not be scouring the incoming class of freshmen for hot dates.  There's no rule that two people who go to the same school must be OK to date.
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CF DolFan
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« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2018, 05:50:28 pm »

I agree that there is some non-zero number of 19-year-olds in high school; I wouldn't describe it as "many," especially in a school district where the age admissions policy results in "many" 14-year-old freshmen.  In other words, a school district could have "many" 19-year-old seniors, or "many" 14-year-old freshmen, but it shouldn't have both.

But even if we grant the existence of 19-year-old seniors, I think that limited subset of students should probably not be scouring the incoming class of freshmen for hot dates.  There's no rule that two people who go to the same school must be OK to date.
"Many" seems to be about semantics ... Not sure how it runs today but anyone born after Memorial week until August 31st would have graduated as a 17 year old ... so that's 3.5 months of 17 year olds or about 30% of the class ... assuming each month was equal.

It actually was well known in the local high schools around here that senior boys preyed on freshman girls as they were innocent and didn't know how things really worked. Sounds pretty harsh by today's standards but was a running joke back then ... even by the teachers. The drinking age was 18 when I got to high school so some people even had alcohol in coolers in the back of their trucks. We had guns hanging in the windows of our trucks on school property and would even show them to teachers, deans or whoever if they came to the parking lot to talk about hunting or whatever else.  It was a completely different time and that's exactly why I have issue people going back 20 -30 years and now crying rape. No one had the fears that kids have to deal with today.
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MyGodWearsAHoodie
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« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2018, 08:54:11 pm »

The term you used "preyed on" is correct.  I think the correct way to prevent this is telling the senior boys look the freshman girls might be in awe of you but stay away.  Stick to senior girls or the juniors cause if you have sex with a freshman even if she consents you are looking at 10 to 20 years in jail.

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