An Ode to Internet Porn

[Dave Gray]

An Ode to Internet Porn

Lock the door.
Click to play.
I may get caught,
but not today.

Draw the shades.
Grab a sock,
and hope that someone
doesn't knock.

I know the church
Says I'm a sinner,
But there's still time
to spare 'till dinner.

I'm sure to watch out
for my jeans
to not get smeared
with Vasoline.

This isn't crass;
it's simply candid.
I've learned to use
my mouse left-handed.

At fifteen years,
this gift to me,
has helped a faithless boy
to see.

So when I finally
start to swell,
I thank the lord
for DSL.

[Thundergod]

So when I finally
start to swell,
I thank the lord
for DSL.

HA!!  Classic. 

[Denver_Bronco]

LMFAO ! That is great Dave !

[jtex316]

BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!

[crazy_scar_man]

perfect

[Philly Fin Fan]

Do people really use socks to masturbate? I hear this all the time, but have never used a sock.

[Dave Gray]

Do people really use socks to masturbate? I hear this all the time, but have never used a sock.

Not sure.  This was a piece of fiction.  I don't have DSL...I have cable.  Duh.

[Brian Fein]

Did you write that?  Is that a Dave Gray original?

[AZ Fins Fan 55]

LMFAO.....that is funny shit right there. Nice work!!!!!

Do people really use socks to masturbate? I hear this all the time, but have never used a sock.

I tried it once....it wasn't bad. Curiosity got the best of me I guess!!!!! 

[Dave Gray]

Did you write that? Is that a Dave Gray original?

Yes.

[Brian Fein]

Yes.

VERY VERY impressed.....

(are you ever going to finish that story?)

[Dave Gray]

(are you ever going to finish that story?)

I really, really want to.  I haven't put time aside to work on it for some time.  At this point, I'd probably have to outline the whole thing again, and I fear that I've probably lost the character's voice.  I was in a very different place when I wrote that.

[cyan]

I was in a very different place when I wrote that.

spoken like a true artist....trent reznor has said the very same thing about some of his music.

[Dave Gray]

Gravedig.  I sent this to someone today and thought I'd bump it for new readers.

[YoFuggedaboutit]

Excerpt from When I Was Your Age (referring to the 60's 70's and 80's)

"And talk about hardship!!!!  You just couldn't download any porn!!!  You had to settle for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or bribe some homeless dude at the local 7 Eleven to buy you a copy of Playboy or Hustler!!!  Those were your options!!!"