GUATARICCAN
YJFF Member
Uber Member
Posts: 1434
It's DOO DOO baby!!
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« on: February 16, 2006, 02:16:18 pm » |
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Funny Stuff:
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ." -A southern fairytale
begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
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AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.
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YoFuggedaboutit
Guest
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« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2006, 10:05:26 pm » |
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Why do Mexicans eat bean burritos for lunch every day?
So they can take a bubble bath at night
How can you tell if a lawyer is lying to you?
He's speaking
What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
When you're dead, a hooker will quit trying to screw you
What do you get when you mix Rogaine and Viagra?
Don King
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have somebody throw it to you
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YoFuggedaboutit
Guest
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« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2006, 10:07:13 pm » |
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How come Pollacks can't make Kool-Aid?
They can't figure out how to get 2 quarts of water into that little envelope
What happened to the Pollack terrorist when he tried to blow up a bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe
What happened to the old Pollack when he told his children he wanted to be buried at sea?
His two sons drowned digging his grave
What did the Pollack do when the doctor found an abnormally high concentration of sugar in his urine?
He pissed on his Corn Flakes
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YoFuggedaboutit
Guest
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« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2006, 09:48:52 am » |
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What do you say to an Italian wearing a three-piece suit?
Tomorrow..... I'll have the money TOMORROW!!!!!
How does an Italian get out of a bad business?
Troo da roof!!!!!
How come there's no swimming pools in Cuba?
Because all the Cubans who can swim are over here.
What is the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row row row your boat"
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