Microwaved Penis Turns Out to Be Fake

[Ryan]

A woman trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said.

The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday.

The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," police said.

The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero.

When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said.

After news reports Friday, a woman called police to say she was with the man in the store and explained what really happened, Pero said.

The woman told police she was applying for a job and was required to take a drug test. She said the man had filled the device with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test, Pero said.

The couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Pero said — that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.

Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia.

The woman wasn't applying for a job at the convenience store, but Pero said he didn't know anything else about the job.

Pero wouldn't release the names of the man or woman. Charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible, he said.

The clerk at the Giant Eagle Get Go! is "still visibly shaking," Pero said Friday.

A clerk at the store Friday referred all questions to Giant Eagle corporate headquarters. An official there declined comment.

<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060224/ap_on_fe_st/fake_penis_scare>link to story[/url]

hahaha, dumb ass!

[Pats2006]

WHAT A DUMB ASS

[crazy_scar_man]

I always enjoy a good severed penis story

[Phishfan]

Didn't they even consider that the test would come back with some funny results if they had used the man's urine?

[Pats2006]

Didn't they even consider that the test would come back with some funny results if they had used the man's urine?

Thats funny. I wish I could remember witch NFL player said this but they said they use to do drugs and when a drug test came up he had someone on the inside that let him know. Well one day he didn't get the word so he called some girl that lived close had her drop off her piss. To make a long story short the piss test came back that he was going to be haveing a baby.

[Sunstroke]

That's some funny shit there, but it really does add a little something if you play King Missile's "Detachable Penis" in the background while reading this story. 

"I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time...It's detachable."