Adultery

[bsfins]

I really can't comment on this thread,the way I'd like to....My Dad cheated on my mom,twice before she left him...My mom divorced my Step dad,because he wanted to go out everynight,dancing,playing pool,partying...Mom said this not the example to set for a son...this is what a Father does....

A little bit of my work perspective....
I see it everyday at work,both sides of it.We have a Office Policy,We never divulge results of what we find over the phone.A.) we need to get paid B.)We need to check thier mental state.

Some of these people as soon as they find out,Go postal.There isn't anthing in the conference room,so we don't get hurt...The table is bolted down,the chairs are very heavy...The pictures have safety glass,and are bolted to the wall.They all have the thought,the inkling, that thier spouse is cheating or they wouldn't be here.They know the outcome could be that they're cheating,yet they still flip out.Some of them of them sob uncontrollably,Some of the women,look up at you like Ok,I'll get even by screwing you right now....I've had few,that have No reaction what so ever...they Scare me to death.Since I've been here we've had to notify the police that someone has turned so violent,that they may try to kill thier spouse,6-8 times...

It's been discussed 1000 times about bringing in a certified counsler,or psychologist on full tie to deal with the aftermath of what we have told them.(another topic)

I'd say the divorce rate of the married people that we find evidence of infidelity is fairly low...about half (I figured it would be 75-80%).We check the papers everyday,to see the divorces,and keep track of them,and compare them to our files.
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A couple of personal
No one has brought up the Trust factor..I couldn't live with someone that I couldn't trust,let alone tell them my innermost feelings.Once that person has cheated it's always out there.That trust is never the same,it can never be tottally repaired.

What kills me the most...the Average joe guy...He works at the garage,or some factory,maybe owns his own house,devoted father,Loves his wife with his whole heart.He typically has married up,she was hot stuff,not the queen of the double wide...They might have some money problems,but all in all not bad....She cheats on him because he's boring,he works all the time,doesn't take her out anymore,doesn't pay her enough attention.

I just as hard on him,when he cheats.

What Maine says scares the hell out of me...

[NYFan204]

It's funny, I never looked at it as what my wife would know, I all ways looked at it as what I would know and have to live with.

[Sunstroke]

It's funny, I never looked at it as what my wife would know, I all ways looked at it as what I would know and have to live with.

DING-DING-DING...we have a winner! ^^^

Recognizing the difference between right and wrong is easy, but heeding that recognition can sometimes be a bitch. I've never cheated on a partner behind their back because my conscience knows exactly where my body's nausea switch is located, and it has no reservations about flipping that sucker.

[Dphins4me]

Something happened to me recently that got me thinking about it.

What do you guys think? Is adultery bad? Or is it ok in some cirumstances? Should there be laws against it?

Yes, its bad.  My ex cheated on me & with the diseases out there today she was gambling with my life. 

Hell F'in No on Laws.  This country has enough laws.

[Spider-Dan]

If Buddhaboy sleeps with some other chick he can have her. I wouldn't want him.

Then I'd hunt the bitch down, but that's a whole other topic.

Here's my question:

Why do people get mad at the person their lover cheated with?

I mean, I've just never understood that.  The way I see it, if my g/f cheated on me with one guy then she would have with another.  Cheaters cheat.  There's no point in getting mad at the person they happened to choose.  They aren't the one who betrayed you.

[Buddhagirl]

Because only a skank knowinglyl sleeps with another woman's man.  If she didn't know about it, that's one thing.  If she does, she's just a trifiling ho.

The woman that my dad left with knew all about our family. She would call my cell if I called my dad asking why I was calling him.  She knew about us. That makes her just as at fault.

[SCFinFan]

Wow, this thread has really taken off. I see alot of people are affected by it, or at least everyone has an opinion on it.

When I was younger  (18) I fell in love with a woman for the first time. It was really great. Unfortunately, she very quickly cheated on me. Man, it ruined my entire year. It made me constantly wonder and worry about myself, along the lines of: "Why can't I seem to keep a relationship together? What's wrong with me?"

The same things happen to me in breakups. It's just hard to feel rejected, not cared about. It's worse, I'd say, than having a loved one die. For if they die, that's it, there's nothing you can do about it, it wasn't your fault, you had nothing to do with it. If they cheat, or if they leave you, the thought always haunts you, "Did I do something wrong? What did I do?!"

Or, well, that's how it is for me anyway. What do you guys think? Is rejection, cheating worse (i.e. harder to take) than the death of someone you love?

[JVides]

Is rejection, cheating worse (i.e. harder to take) than the death of someone you love?

No, for me nothing's tougher than someone I love dying.  At least with rejection, you can replace the sense of loss with anger, or go get with the first hot babe that crosses your path.  With death, there's just grief.

[myami54]

If it seems bad it probably is bad.

[VidKid]

I mean, I've just never understood that.  The way I see it, if my g/f cheated on me with one guy then she would have with another.  Cheaters cheat.  There's no point in getting mad at the person they happened to choose.  They aren't the one who betrayed you.

I have to agree with Buddagirl on this one. Sometimes the other party knows. And that makes it worse if they continue thru with it. This gives you every reason to be pissed off.  Imagine if it was your buddy....

[crazy_scar_man]

Does a ball of coke and two strippers count as adultery?

[Sunstroke]

Does a ball of coke and two strippers count as adultery?

Only if you're not married to one of the strippers. 

[Spider-Dan]

I have to agree with Buddagirl on this one. Sometimes the other party knows. And that makes it worse if they continue thru with it. This gives you every reason to be pissed off.  Imagine if it was your buddy....

That would piss me off because my friend also betrayed me.  But that's a different scenario; I would expect a friend to both refuse my g/f's advances, and tell me about it.  That's what a friend should do.  I don't expect that from a stranger.

I really don't see anything wrong with being the "accomplice," so to speak.  Like I said, cheaters cheat, so why does it matter who it's with?  If some guy is sleeping with my girlfriend, that's my problem, not his.