I'm writing this sincere letter to inform you that:
A) You suck
B) Your smelly, hazy, someday-its-gonna-fall-into-the-ocean city sucks...
C) Most of all, your basketball teams suck.
As a Suns fan, I've laughed as your city's sports fans leaped en masse from the Lakers bandwagon to the Clippers bandwagon so hard that it flattened all four tires. At least that's how it looked in game seven anyway, as a superior Suns team ran over, around and through the Clippers.
(Sam Cassell, while brilliant as the lead in "Alien Autopsy," just can't run with the kids any more.) Very few things in the world can satisfy me like knocking an LA team out of the playoffs, which explains why I'm enjoying the playoffs twice as much this year.
Goodbye, you show up late, leave real early, spend all the time in between on the cell phone, pseudo-fans... Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya
No worries though...there's still room in the trunk of the Maverickmobile. If you hurry (and we all know how fast you can jump), you might be able to get a couple thousand of you LA Unfaithful stuffed in there just in time for the conference finals.Â
Thanks for playing,
Sunstroke Stevens
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