The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

I know that some of you swear by this item.  I'm remodeling my bathroom.  It's a total gut job.  So, I want to include one.  As I understand, it's just a toilet-attachment piece, right?   Is there are style or brand or type I should look for?  I don't know what I don't know.

If you lack space it's a toilet attachment piece .. if you have room, it's a whole separate unit

We got the attachment about a year ago. Not sure if one brand is better than the other but ours seems to work fine.

I suppose they all squirt your asshole in some fashion, which is the goal.



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I do not have room for a specific unit.   This would be some kind of under-seat attachment.

This is the one I currently have ($109).  It mounts in-between the toilet seat and the back of the toilet rim.  No electricity is required, and it hooks into the existing cold water line for your toilet.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08VS11Z1N/

That was the second bidet I've purchased, as the first one (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JG3C1ZE/) I bought was much cheaper ($32), but the knob snapped off and I had to replace the unit (I got about 2.5 years of use out of it).

The "whole separate units" (like this one (https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-SW3084-01-Electronic-Elongated/dp/B08S473TPS/)) are usually referred to as "washlets," and replace the seat and lid.  They run $400+, require electricity, and have features like a heated seat, warm spray, heated air drying, etc.

I found the line in the description:  "Adjust the pressure from gentle butt spritz to power wash" to be extremely hilarious...  ;D

I'm ready to purchase, I think.  The toilet is in.

When you say "no power is required", what does that mean?  Does it use pressure from the water line or does it have batteries or something?

It is entirely mechanical and uses pressure from the water line.

The bidets that require power have features like seat warmers, drying fans, night lights, etc.

I think that is the one we have and if not, it's very similar.

If you were a baller, you'd knock down a wall in that bathroom and put a separate fixture to squirt your butthole.  Gold plated.  Only the best... 

squirt squirt.

I have purchased.  I think it arrives Saturday.  I'll keep you posted.

Straight from the cold water line might work fine in So Fla but I would not use it in the winter in New England

You don't have as many temperature-sensitive nerves in that area, so it probably wouldn't be an issue.

It's like how you can still eat or drink things that are too hot to touch.

Hahaha ...

Don't paddy cake it. Put in double toilets like Meghan Trainer and her hsuband .... hahahaa

(https://www.iheartradio.ca/image/policy:1.16265552:1634101924/toilet.png?f=default&$p$f=7145cbc)

The bidet arrived today.  Damn that was fast.

I don't think I'm going to install it tonight.  It looks relatively simple, but I won't be home this evening and I don't want to start anything like this, just in case there's some bullcrap.


Related to CF's picture, my sister rented a house when she lived in China and they needed a certain number of toilets per people that the house could hold.  So, the Chinese solution was to have two toilets right next to each other in the bathroom.

Never lived anywhere with two toilets in the same bathroom, but for a few months I lived in a house with 17 other people that had only one bathroom, it had both a tub and standalone shower.  The shower was used as a shower but the tub was a coed urinal.  Privacy wasn't a thing.

Update:

I have installed the bidet and been using it.  It was very easy to install.  I took my time.  It took about 20 minutes, but I was being careful.  If I were to do it again it would be faster.  No special tools required.  I think I used a wrench or screwdriver but only for mechanical advantage.


There is a bit of a learning curve to figuring out where/how much to squirt and then from there if/when/how/with what to wipe.  I'm getting used to it.

That said, it is the kind of thing where you wonder how we've been doing it any other way.  It's cleaner, easier, cheaper, and more environmental than using paper.  My general swamp-assery is reduced by a lot.  I can definitely see why people say it's a game changer.

So, I am going to add to the pile.  If you don't have one of these, you should.  It's very cost effective and you can essentially not use TP anymore.  And once you start washing, you wonder how you thought wiping your poo back on yourself with paper was ever clean enough.

How are you drying without TP?

I use a lot less TP than pre-bidet, but I don't use none.

My bidet came with some suggestions.

At first I just tried drying with TP.  That was like trying to towel off from getting out of the pool with TP.  It was too wet.  No good.
I have read that some people use a little hand towel to dry their butt cheeks.
But one other suggestion was to just sit for a second and then put your pants on.

I have moved towards that option mostly.

Hair dryer? 

Switch to Charmin Ultra Strong.

I wondered how people dried.

When you're sitting on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand.

Yeah, me too. That's the perplexing thing.

Maybe this summer when I have some free time I'll try it on one of my toilets.

i think you need another device that blows warm air on your butthole after the squirt.  Like one of those restroom hand dryers but for your anoose.

There are bidets with air dryers.

They are powered and must be plugged into a standard wall outlet.  They are not cheap (https://www.totousa.com/washlet-c2-elongated).

One of the things that attracted me to the bidet that I have is that it is fully mechanical.  There is no electrical component.

sure and it leaves you with soggy butthole.  upgrade, baller. 

LMAO at Dave. This is what we use as well.

TMI time:

I am a little under the weather and I have the squirts.

This is the most value the bidet has provided thus far.  You know how when you have to wipe 10 times in a day, it starts to feel like you're wiping with a jalapeno?  There is none of that.  You maintain general freshness without irritation.  It's kind of a game changer in the diarrhea game.

As I mentioned previously a few times, when I had food poisoning the bidet was a lifesaver.

My parents live in Portugal and in bidets are ubiquitous there. A bathroom without a bidet is an exception. When they were visiting here, my dad kept commenting on the lack of bidets everywhere and how uncivilized it is.

Three pages on bidets. You can't make this shit up.

Got to clean this shit up.

^^^ & ^^^

The official description line that Spider posted from the manufacturer that reads: "Adjust the pressure from gentle butt spritz to power wash"  still makes me laugh every time I see this thread.  ;D