Kobe is suspicious

[Denver_Bronco]

Kobe Bryant and his wife celebrated the birth of their second child early Monday morning, but sources close to the Lakers star say he is enraged that his new daughter looks almost exactly like Karl Malone.

“Kobe knows how much Karl likes to hunt little Mexican girls,” said a friend. “And he’s almost positive that Karl shot one with his penis.”



The newborn girl reportedly is bald with a chiseled face, very broad, muscular shoulders and remarkably sharp elbows. In addition to the uncanny resemblance to his former teammate, Bryant’s suspicions were raised by a congratulatory note Malone sent to the couple in the hospital.

“Karl Malone is sending a congratulatory note,” it read. “Karl Malone is very happy for you both. I’m glad the Mailman could deliver like you wanted him to, Vanessa. Karl Malone is available anytime you need Karl Malone. Karl Malone loves him some Mexican women. Sincerely, Karl Malone.”

Bryant is said to be unsure of how to approach the issue with his wife, or even if he should bring it up at all.

“Kobe is in a tough position,” said his friend. “He cheated on Vanessa and everyone in the country found out about it, so he doesn’t have much moral ground to stand on here. His suspicion is that Vanessa’s desire to get back at him, coupled with Karl Malone’s love of little Mexican girls culminated in them having sex. And his new daughter is the result of them hooking up. Now every time he looks at here he’ll be reminded not only of his transgression, but of his wife’s, too.”

No matter who the real father is, Bryant’s friend says he is sure Kobe will treat the child like his own.

“Kobe is a stand-up guy, so there’s no concern about that,” said the friend. “Plus, in a way he might even be relieved. With the score settled between him and Vanessa now, he can start having anal sex with hotel employees again with a clear conscience.”

[jtex316]

THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!

[Sunstroke]

Dear God, I haven't laughed that hard in a while...sweet mercy! The baby has pointy elbows...gotta be Karl's kid. Probably cries nonstop as well.

If anyone has seen the most recent movie of "King Arthur" (a most excellent take on the Arthur/Maerlyn myth, btw), a version of this joke was used between two of the Summation Knights under Arthur.  The devilishly handsome Lancelot, told one of the more brutish knights that he was going to spend all his time at the other knight's home, keeping his wife company. The knight asked Lancelot what he would be doing while Lancelot kept his wife company, and Lancelot replied "You'll be wondering at your good fortune that all your children look like me."